Birth Control and NFP: What's the Difference?
Tom and Jane have three children, and have determined that
they cannot adequately provide for any more at the present time. They know that
artificial means of birth control are morally wrong, and their priest
recommended that they use NFP ( Natural Family Planning ). Yet they do not
understand why NFP is OK if birth control is wrong. Don't they amount to the
same thing?
Actually, they don't. NFP is very different form other
methods of birth control. Here we will give some other reasons -- but first, a
word about what NFP is not.
NFP does NOT refer to the so-called "calendar rhythm method",
which was based on calendar calculations of a "normal" cycle. NFP, instead,
based on direct observations of various signs that occur in a woman's body
(changes in the cervix, cervical mucus, and temperature) which tell her when
ovulation occurs. These observations are relatively easy to make, take only a
few minutes, and work even for irregular cycles. NFP is internationally known
and practical and is extremely effective. The medical principles on which NFP
rests are being used by more and more doctors for a wide range of purposes.
Morally speaking, then, what is it that makes NFP acceptable
while artificial birth control is wrong?
1 ) NFP does not separate sex from responsibility. The act of
intercourse has a twofold meaning: sharing of love and giving of life. Married
persons who perform this act must accept both sides of the coin. While not every
marital act will result in a child, it must nevertheless be open to the
possibility of life. The act will be "open" to life as long as the spouses do
nothing to "close" it. Here's the difference between artificial birth control
and NFP. In the first case, one does something (takes a pill, uses a condom,
etc.) to deliberately "close" the life-giving power of sexual intercourse. In
NFP, however, no such step is taken. The spouses do not act against their
fertility. They do not reject the link between the two meanings of sex (love and
life). They simply follow the natural patterns of the body's fertility and
infertility -- patterns placed there by God Himself. In the fertile days of a
woman's cycle, if there are serious reasons to avoid pregnancy, the couple
respectfully steps back from the act of intercourse. In using birth control
devices, however, they attack the meaning of the act -- they do the action of
intercourse and then undo part of it. In NFP, instead, they simply choose at
times not to do the action in the first place.
2) NFP is not just a "method" based on physiology. Rather, NFP is based on
VIRTUE. It is based on sexual self-control, which is necessary for a healthy
marriage. There are times in any marriage when spouses have to put aside their
desire for sex because of sickness, fatigue, travel, or other reasons. In a
healthy marriage, love is shown in many ways, and not all these ways of showing
love are physical. In fact, to refrain from sex when necessary is itself an act
of love. Why? Because in effect the spouses then say to each other, "I did not
marry you just for sexual pleasure. I married you because I love you. You are a
person, not an object. When I have sex with you, it is because I freely choose
to show you my love, not because I need to satisfy an urge." Using NFP requires
abstinence from intercourse during the fertile days if a pregnancy has to be
avoided. This actually can strengthen the couple's sexual life. When the spouses
know that they can abstain for good reasons, they also come to trust each other
more, and avoid the risk of treating each other primarily as objects of sexual
pleasure rather than persons. Artificial birth control, on the other hand, gives
free reign to the temptation to make pleasure the dominant element, rather than
virtue. It encourages couples to think that sexual self-control is not
necessary. It can encourage them to become slaves to pleasure.
3) NFP puts the responsibility for family planning squarely
on the shoulders of both partners, because it requires communication and
cooperation. Both spouses need to know when the fertile days of the woman's
cycle have arrived, and then decide together what to do (depending on whether
they are trying to avoid or achieve pregnancy). To think that such communication
and cooperation make the sexual act less pleasurable (because less spontaneous)
is simply not true. To know with certainty what stage of the cycle one is in can
increase the pleasure and spontaneity of the act, since the spouses can ignore
worries about contraceptive failure or side-effects of the pill. Artificial
birth control, besides introducing these worries, also puts the "contraceptive
burden" on the shoulders of ONE, not both, spouses. It makes it possible for a
spouse to cut off the fertility of the act, even without the consent of the
other spouse. It can introduce division into the marriage.
4) NFP is not just a means of avoiding pregnancy, as
artificial contraception is. Rather, it can also be used to ACHIEVE pregnancy
since it pinpoints ovulation. It is a wholly positive approach to the sexual
life of the spouses. It is clean, inexpensive, morally acceptable, and reliable.
As with anything good, NFP can be misused, if a couple has
the wrong motives. Married couples are called by God to cooperate generously in
bringing forth and educating new life. For a couple to decide that "we don't
want children at this time", there need to be serious, objective reasons
(health, finances, etc.). If the reasons are not objective but selfish, then the
couple cannot justify the avoidance of pregnancy just because they are using NFP
to do it. In this case they are not practicing "family planning", but "family
avoidance"!
There are differences between NFP and artificial birth
control, but let these suffice for now. As Pope John Paul II has explained, the
difference really rests on a person's answers to some very basic questions like,
"What is marriage?" What is sex? What is the human body? What is love?"
Artificial contraception distorts the meaning of all these things. It sees the
body and its sexual faculties as something to be "used", and it fails to
acknowledge God's place in love and marriage. NFP, instead, is a practice of
virtue, resting upon self-control, inner freedom, respect, trust, communication,
and reverence to God's plan for love and marriage. It enriches both love and
marriage. Every couple owes it to themselves to learn more about it!
To obtain written material about NFP, write to: The
Couple-to-Couple League, P.O. Box 111184, Cincinnati, OH 45211, ( 513 ) - 661 -
7612.
