In my two previous columns, I have pointed out that there is a mutual
causality between abortion and child abuse. While this does not mean that
everyone who was abused has an abortion, or that everyone who has an abortion
will abuse their children, it does mean that there is significant correlation
and influence both ways. I have already looked at some reasons why having an
abortion can lead to the abuse of other children. Here I will comment on why
being abused or neglected as a child increases the likelihood that one will
abort her own child.
The person who is abused or neglected as a child is deeply damaged, and the
damage extends into adulthood. Because the damage is done in key areas of how
one sees oneself, how one trusts others, how one views the parent-child
relationship, and what expectations one has about the world and the future, this
damage obviously affects both the willingness and ability to give birth to and
raise a child.
Life and hope are inextricably linked. To have the courage to say yes to new
life requires hope, and hope is one of the most precious things that abuse and
neglect destroy in their victims. If the hopes and dreams of the abused person
are dashed, they see little hope for the future of their child, and hence abort
that child.
Moreover, abuse and neglect make the person weaker both in body and mind. The
abuse victim finds it harder to trust her body to bear stress or pain, and finds
it harder to engage in mature and flexible thinking. For these reasons, she will
often say that a pregnancy is "too much to go through." Abortion seems like the
easier option.
Fear of abandonment is another major factor. Children who have been neglected
or abandoned are terrified it will happen again. Hence, a pregnant abuse victim
is especially vulnerable to threats of abandonment from those demanding she
abort. She may also fear that the child will abandon her, and would prefer to
abort than to face that kind of abandonment.
A related problem is the parental relationship. A woman who was abused or
neglected by her parents in childhood is not going to think that they will be
present and supportive during her pregnancy. When she desperately needed help as
a child, her parents did not help; hence, she is convinced they will not help
now. This increases the temptation to abort.
Pregnancy and childbirth, moreover, catapult a person into the demands of
adulthood. One who has been abused or neglected has, essentially, missed out on
her childhood, and seeks to cling to or recover it. This increases the
unwillingness to lose that childhood in yet another way, that is, by accepting
the maturity demanded by parenthood. This is seen as losing one's last chance of
being nurtured by a parent.
For more information on these and other reasons why abuse leads to abortion,
consult Dr. Philip Ney (www.messengers2.com).
