Catholic News Agency Publishes Prisoner’s Story of how his Abortion led to violent crime and incarceration.
Catholic News Agency Publishes Prisoner’s Story of how his Abortion led to violent crime and incarceration.
AUSTRALIA, February 25, 2014 (LifeSiteNews.com) – A famed Australian TV personality known for her beauty and bright personality was found dead Friday, hanging in her apartment. While international mainstream media blames Charlotte Dawson’s death on her depression caused by social media bullying, the woman admits in her autobiography that it was in fact her abortion 15 years ago that introduced her to what she called the “depression bogeyman.”
It is of the mysterious wisdom of God that we talk, the wisdom that was hidden… None of the rulers of the age recognized it… - 1Corinthians 2
An investigation in The Telegraph reveals a gender-selection abortion scandal in UK. It is Interesting that this is considered a scandal. Hasn’t this genie been out of the bottle since 1967?
Former Liberal leader Lord Steel, who introduced the abortion act in 1967, said it needed to be made publicly clear that “whatever happens in other countries, this practice is not acceptable in this country.”
Lord Steel opened the gates of hell in the 60’s and now wants to put some of the demons back in their stables, and snubs his nose at those other countries that practice gender-specific abortion. We can just hear him channeling the Dowager Countess of Grantham from Downton Abbey …we are not like those barbarians in our former colonies.
Lord Steel has been having some second thoughts about abortion since those euphoric days of sexual/social revolution in the 60’s. From a 2007 article in The Guardian:
Lord Steel, architect of the 1967 Abortion Act, says…that abortion is being used as a form of contraception in Britain and admits he never anticipated “anything like” the current number of terminations…[Read this to better understand the phenomena of repeat abortions that Lord Steel references.-KB]
Leaders like Lord Steel fail to understand the forces they unleash upon their societies when they introduce revolutionary social change in the name of progress…even with the best of intentions. (Good intentions allied with revolutionary fervor have caused more death and destruction in the last century than at any time in human history.) Now that we have dehumanized, desecrated and in later stage abortions tortured unborn human babies to death, some of the abortion rights revolutionaries are saying “some of these female fetuses…in certain circumstances…need to be protected.”
If I may have the Countess of Grantham address His Lordship in her inimitable style:
Pray tell Lord Steel, where lies the moral or political authority you or any other pro abortion activist draws upon to issue your statements condemning gender selection abortions? If we are to use the language of the pro abortion revolutionaries…is this not a private and personal health care decision between a woman and her doctor? How does the architect of legal abortion in the UK criticize the practice of sex selection abortion in some of our less civilized former colonies? Lord Steel how many female citizens of the United Kingdom have been lost to abortion since 1967? ( Millions. )
Taking slight liberty with an actual exchange between Sir Richard Carlisle and the Countess from the Downton series:
Lord Steel: I’m leaving the morning Lady Grantham, I doubt we’ll meet again.
Dowager Countess of Grantham: Do you promise?
Deconstructing the Abortion Rights Construct
The scandal of gender-selection abortion reveals that the pro abortion construct is built upon moral quicksand:
Abortion is a private personal decision. A woman must have total control over her body and reproductive health. This principle cannot be violated as it is a fundamental civil right.
How can you accept this premise…and then tell a woman it is not ok to abort her baby because for some reason the parents do not want a female child. Couldn’t they just as easily say they are under emotional stress, or they lost their job, or they are worried about the environment and consider it immoral to overpopulate the planet? Aren’t these reasons OK?
I may not be as learned and clever as Lord Steel and the other architects of our enlightened age. However it seems to me that if abortion is wrong in cases where the reason for aborting is the gender of the fetus then it is equally wrong for any other reason. Focusing on the issue of gender reveals both the humanity of the fetus and the need to protect the dignity and well being of all unborn human life.
You can’t have it both ways and cry out “whoa…hold on a second; this gender selection stuff is really bad!” You can’t cry foul now that pro-choice feminism ends up serving the goals of patriarchal oppression. You let the genie out of the bottle in 1967… and this genie is diabolical and nasty. It not only has an insatiable appetite for the destruction of unborn life, it also viciously attacks the hearts and souls of those that experience this loss.
With that said, we must support all legislative efforts that reduce the number of abortions. Please pray for Lord Steel. He is clearly having some second thoughts as the natural consequences of abortion unfold in his country. May he discover the source of a wisdom that has its foundation not in the passing fads of political ideology, but in a foundation that draws from the Wisdom of God. May Lord Steel come to repent of his role in unleashing the scourge of abortion upon his land.
Lasting Wisdom (1Corintians 2, 6-10)
When I came to you, brothers, proclaiming the mystery of God, I did not come with sublimity of words or of wisdom. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified. I came to you in weakness* and fear and much trembling, and my message and my proclamation were not with persuasive (words of) wisdom,* but with a demonstration of spirit and power,so that your faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.
Yet we do speak a wisdom to those who are mature, but not a wisdom of this age, nor of the rulers of this age who are passing away. Rather, we speak God’s wisdom,* mysterious, hidden, which God predetermined before the ages for our glory, and which none of the rulers of this age* knew; for if they had known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But as it is written:
“What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard,
and what has not entered the human heart,
what God has prepared for those who love him,”
this God has revealed to us through the Spirit.
For the Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God.
From Brad Mattes CEO of Life Issues Institute. This is an important article for anyone involved with PRC’s and other pro life outreach:
…Catherine Coyle, RN, PhD and Vincent Rue, PhD, have developed a set of guidelines and suggestions for pro-life pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) to incorporate or enhance assisting men while helping women as it relates to pregnancy, parenting, relationships and abortion.
Since 2003 the Silent No More Awareness Campaign (SNMAC) has blazed new ground in efforts to reveal the truth of abortion’s impact on women and men. On January 22nd hundreds of mothers and fathers from around the country and at the very steps of the Supreme Court in Washington DC, shared the truth of their abortion loss and recovery.
A recent article in Cosmopolitan How Abortion Changed Our Relationship reveals that efforts of the SNMAC are paying off. The pro abortion forces are taking notice as Cosmo launched a thinly disguised counter offensive. Despite the clear pro abortion agenda of the article, this is good news.
After reading the Cosmo piece you may rightly wonder…and how is this good news? The fact that a rabidly pro contraception/pro abortion magazine with a circulation of millions would even touch this subject points to the success of the SNMAC in its messaging and media outreach. The pro abortion crowd realizes that we have broken through the media blackout and liberal spin. They had to respond.
The problem for Cosmo and their allies in Planned Parenthood is this; when they shine a brighter and more honest light on peoples’ real experience of abortion, the truth of their experience shines forth and overshadows the typical pro abortion propaganda you will find embedded in the stories.
Let’s take a look at the four couples featured in the Cosmopolitan article and what their brief accounts reveal about abortion and its impact on women and men.
Displaced Anger, Guilt and Grief at Pro Lifers
Cindy shares about her first abortion at age 18. She had to pass pro life advocates on her way to the abortion building. They made her pause and return to her car and reconsider. Sadly rather than turn to the pro lifers who could have offered her practical and emotional support during her pregnancy and after the child was born…she instead turns on them with anger:
Cindy: … I’ve had an abortion before, and I also didn’t want to go through that again. The first time, I was 18 and about to start college. I had to walk past protesters who were screaming and waving posters. It made me second-guess my choice. I actually went back to my car to think, and then I got mad, like, If I have the baby, are they going to help me take care of it? Are they going to pay my grocery bills and rent?
Pro lifers are a convenient target for unresolved feelings during the pregnancy and for displacing after-abortion grief and pain, often disguised as anger. Cindy displaces her very real conflicts and fears about her pregnancy decisions and dumps it on the pro lifers. The anger allows her to see herself as victimized by her pregnancy, and assaulted by pro-lifers who in her mind only care about the fetus.
This anger helps suppress her second thoughts, and silence any voice in her heart and soul that is crying out for her to protect her unborn child. Many of the founders of the pro choice brand of feminism have themselves suffered abortion loss and displaced their conflicts, their emotional pain and grief on to the pro life movement. This anger can fuel the radical pro abortion activities of many wounded women and men and keep their post abortion pain submerged in pro choice activism or displaced in anger at a false characterization of pro lifers as mean-spirited and judgmental.
Repetition of Abortion Trauma
Like 46% of all women who have abortions, Cindy would go on to face another unplanned pregnancy and another abortion decision. What Cindy and Cosmo fail to understand is this:
Unless you fully acknowledge what was lost (a baby), repent and grieve that loss, and develop a spiritual relationship with that aborted child in a healing program, you are very likely to find yourself unconsciously recreating the same behavioral and relational dynamics that will lead you once again to the abortionist. That first abortion leaves you even more vulnerable to see the second abortion as the only solution. (You can read more about the psychology of repeat abortions here.)
And so it was with Cindy and her partner Frisco as she faced her second abortion decision.
Pro Choice Feminism and Emotionally Impotent Men
Frisco voiced a willingness to be there for her and the child if she wanted to keep it.
Frisco: I told Cindy I would support whatever decision she made, including being there for her and the child if she wanted to keep it… I can say “I want the child,” but she has to carry and deliver it.
This is a common response from men that have been formed in our enlightened age and on the surface would appear to be offering support while respecting the dictates of “choice.” He wants to stand up for his baby and say clearly that he “wants the child.” But the commandments of pro abortion feminism leave him impotent to defend the life of his son or daughter.
If he was really going to be there for the child, how could he relinquish complete responsibility in the decision and fail to advocate for his child’s life? Rest assured that despite the denial and rationalization after the abortion he is aware of what has died…it’s not an “it” as he sometimes refers to the baby, but his “Child” as he says in other context.
Frisco has been deeply touched by this loss:
From the minute I heard, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and her situation.
Frisco will likely experience confusion, anxiety and depression about his role in the abortion. He may quickly try to suppress those feelings and rationalize that he did the right thing…but as we have learned working with men after abortion, it will impact his life and relationships in the future. Cosmo can’t acknowledge that pain or the ongoing price of their choice. (If you want to learn more about men and abortion and resources for healing visit Fatherhood Forever and the Men and Abortion Network.)
Note Cindy’s reaction to Frisco’s response to the pregnancy:
Cindy: We talked for an hour that day. I knew I didn’t want to have this baby.
Because she knew he really didn’t want to have that baby…or at least he was ambivalent and not prepared to fight for the child’s life. After a woman goes through a healing program and is able to fully acknowledged and grieve what was lost, she has a deeper understanding of her emotions at the time of the abortion decision. Many women report that they were secretly looking for signs that their partner would fight for the life of the child and could be counted on to be around when she was dealing with the realities of parenting a baby. They fear the resentment and anger of their partner if they seem ambivalent or against continuing the pregnancy.
Where’s the Line? Shipwrecked on the Shores of the Sexual Revolution
The story of Brittany/Brandon and Kristina/Chris reveal how we have failed to properly form our youth to negotiate the challenges of relationship, sexuality and parenting. Sending our kids away to college at age 18 in this chaotic moral climate can be like putting two young adults, who have never sailed before on a boat - by themselves - with a storm approaching… and tell them “good luck.” :
Brittany: Brandon and I met our first year at college and became friends with benefits. Our agreement was “We can kiss other people, but we’re sleeping only with each other.”
Kristina: Chris and I met about two years ago…We were tested for STDs and discussed our feelings about abortion before we ever had sex…Birth-control hormones make me feel terrible, so we used condoms. But then I just started getting a feeling that March and thought, I’m just gonna try a pregnancy test. One sort of read positive, so I did another but I wasn’t sure. Those lines are confusing.
Yes indeed, those lines are confusing. More confusing is the boundaries around sex, relationship and commitment for these kids. Our ancestors understood for thousands of years, moral guidelines and anchors (while imperfect) were essential to protect young adults from being shipwrecked on the rocky shores of the sexual revolution.
Kristina came to the abortion center sounding like a child getting her teeth cleaned at the dentist and unexpectedly receiving a shiny new toy!:
Kristina: … I appreciated how normal they made everything. Goonies played in the waiting room, and Beyoncé was on the stereo during surgery. In my counseling session beforehand, they asked if I wanted a ParaGard IUD put in following the procedure. I had never been offered one before and was like, “Hormone- and hassle-free? Definitely!”
But Kristina the child soon had to face the reality of abortion’s impact on the heart and soul of Kristina the mother:
Kristina: I had this idea that once I ended the pregnancy, I’d be fine. But I’m not the same person I was, and I never will be…Chris wanted to talk about it, but more often, we just fought…We broke up that June, and I was a mess. I cried a lot and made my friends uncomfortable because I’d get drunk and talk about the abortion.
A friend sees that Kristina is hurting and recommends a counselor. Tragically most therapist and their professional organizations do not acknowledge the risk factors associated with abortion loss and are clueless about how to guide a wounded woman or man to recover from their loss. They may in fact be hostile to post abortion healing. They may have suffered abortion loss themselves and are invested in the wonders of “choice” and the denial of abortions negative after effects.
In August 2013 three women physicians, Donna Harrison, Mary Davenport and Psychiatrist Martha Shuping, were invited to give lectures on the complications of abortion for the MWIA, the Medical Women’s International Association. Pro abortion agents within the conference forced a cancellation of their presentation which offered compelling research confirming there are significant health risks for women after abortion.
As Kristina reveals, this type of denial by professional health care providers is a cruel form of malpractice toward those that need this information as well as resources for recovery:
Kristina: I went to therapy, but they just wanted to talk about my parents…When I was 20, I was sure I didn’t want kids. The funny thing is that my abortion made me realize that I do want to be a mother.
What Kristina does not yet understand, is that her after-abortion grief and pain will impact her life and relationships…especially as a mom. Her subsequent pregnancies, the ultra sounds, caring for a baby will be triggers to her abortion loss. Without healing she may struggle to bond with her living children and/or become one of the many overprotective “helicopter moms” who are filled with anxiety for their children…an anxiety that can be rooted in an earlier abortion loss.
Just Make it Go Away – Anger and the Guilty Conscience
Kristina’s partner Chris when confronted with the pregnancy reveals the fruit of the contraceptive/abortion mindset:
Chris: Well, maybe she can take a pill and it will just go away.
As Chris got in touch with the reality of what was about to go down (like Cindy) he found an easy target for his powerful feelings and his failure to defend the life of his unborn baby the day of their abortion:
Chris: When we arrived at Planned Parenthood that Saturday… there was a guy standing outside the clinic. He waited until we got really close and then shoved a picture of dead babies in Kristina’s face. She burst into tears. I wanted to punch the guy in the face. It felt like an act of terrorism. I still hate that guy.
He still hates that guy. This hatred is rooted in repressed shame, grief and guilt about his role in the abortion of his child…feelings that are calling Chris to repent, grieve and heal from this loss. But he remains locked in anger and denial.
Some painful questions for Chris to consider:
Why did Kristen cry when confronted with the pictures of the procedures aftermath? What did she see that caused her grief and pain? Was it the reality of what the procedure will do to the tiny baby nestled in her protective womb? Was this pro lifer trying to do what you have failed to do in your fear and weakness…protect your unborn child? Did this man cut through the denial and obfuscating rhetoric of “choice” and reveal the ugliness and death that lie within the doors of Planned Parenthood?
It is very painful for men after abortion to recognize the true feelings that fuel their anger. Most men are decent and want to do what’s right. But like all of us, we can be tempted during times of crisis and fear to make bad decisions. Denial only compounds and prolongs the pain. Humility, repentance and healing transform the pain into peace and new life.
But there is something else of great significance in Chris’s story. Does the pro-life man with the images of abortion victims outside the Planned Parenthood clinic touch on a deeper conflict with his ob-gyn grandfather?
Chris: I grew up in an Irish Catholic family. My grandfather was an obstetrician who was deeply against abortion. So from a very young age, I was told that abortion is wrong… I never really bought it. I became a vegan and decided I didn’t want to have children because there were too many people on this planet.
Perhaps some of that rage reflected the unresolved grandfather and grandson conflict that sadly would contribute to the death of his child, and his grandfather’s great-grandchild. His grandfather and the pro life man at the clinic stir a sense of guilt in his conscience…which he represses with self-righteous rage. Beneath his misinformed environmental sterility lies great conflict about Chris’s role in the death of his unborn son or daughter.
Turning Away from the Truth
Once inside the clinic after paying for the procedure, Kristina and Chris were given one last chance to step away from the precipice of their child’s death:
Chris: I paid the bill and then waited to meet with the doctor. They had to do a sonogram to determine how far along Kristina was and asked if we wanted to see the image. Kristina said no, and I did too. That’s something I regret. I feel like it would have made the experience more real for me.
This is so sad. Chris regrets not viewing the ultrasound because part of him wanted to connect with that baby, defend the life of the child, and protect his girlfriend. He wanted to connect with the “realness” of what they were doing. Like many young men in this situation, he was isolated, confused and misinformed… but he seems a caring and sensitive young man who may have been persuaded by the ultrasound image. That sonogram could have been the first picture in their family album. Now there will be no future family portrait of mom, dad and baby.
They could not look at that ultrasound image lest they face the truth of their actions. But you can’t escape the truth of that loss. It comes out in the emotional aftermath of the procedure. It can take years for those unresolved feelings and memories to fester before recognizing the symptoms. For others like Kristina the effects are more immediate and debilitating both individually and relationally:
Chris: The abortion really changed our relationship. Kristina went through a deep depression afterward…Kristina felt like a bad person, like she was better than this. It made her feel out of control…It sucks. My attitude about sex has also changed. I’ve dated only one other person since then, and I told her about Kristina’s abortion. It’s a part of my life now.
The abortion is part of his life and his partner’s life…forever. Their feelings and symptoms are a more honest representation of the truth of how abortion impacts women, men and their relationships. Without healing it will always be there with the various symptoms calling attention to this loss…waiting to be acknowledged, hungering for healing of the abortion experience.
Later Term Abortions as the Compassionate Choice
The last Cosmo couple present a story of abortion due to fetal disability. Accounts like this are very useful to create a sympathetic and compassionate reception to the supposed necessity of later term abortion procedures. This propaganda is essential to counter the fact that these procedures are especially gruesome and painful for the child.
Let’s look at an excerpt from their story.
Emily: At the first trimester screening, we saw a mass on the baby’s neck. My doctor thought it was benign and nothing to worry about. But when I returned three weeks later, the mass had grown exponentially.
Dave: …I was worried but hopeful.
Emily: My doctor sent us to one of the best neonatal hospitals in the country.
Dave: The growth on my son’s neck was larger than his head. My first thought was How will he be able to breathe? We discussed options. If the baby survived, he would need a tracheotomy, a vent, and 24-hour nursing care. That’s if he made it, which was unlikely. We got into the car and didn’t talk for 20 minutes. I knew we had to consider termination.
This is an extremely vulnerable time for any couple. We can sympathize with the shock of diagnosis and the desire to prevent suffering for one’s child. Medical professionals (who are often pro abortion) can paint a very dark picture in these situations and often present abortion as the most compassionate and rational decision. A second opinion from a life-affirming doctor may have offered the possibility of effective treatments that could give their child the possibility for a normal life while keeping the baby comfortable as possible during treatment and if a fatal condition, offered life affirming support such as perinatal hospice.
Regardless, the temptation to terminate in these situations, while understandable is a trap for any mother and father. Couples who abort due to fetal disability face serious consequences because of their direct role in the death of their child.
Emily shares about her abortion procedure:
Emily: I knew that an abortion was the most humane thing for baby Aaron Jack. Time mattered. I was put on the schedule the next day. I decided to do a normal delivery, so I had an epidural and pushed. The doctor cut the cord, and I held AJ. He is always going to be one of our children.
Dave: The hospital took handprints and pictures…
It is deeply painful to be induced in labor to give birth to a dead child, or one that would die shortly after birth. It is challenging even without the abortion context. However given their role in the death of their child, it is impossible (despite the rationalizations of this intelligent couple) to deny the realty of this complicated grief:
Emily: I thought since I do this for a living (Emily is an ob-gyn) that I was going to be fine. But then two days later my milk came in and I completely lost it. I tried an antidepressant, but I didn’t like the way it made me feel. Luckily, I had my work to focus on.
How to move on from the trauma? Have a replacement pregnancy, get very busy with work and focus on becoming a type of poster couple for the political battle over later term abortion procedures.
Dave: We waited a couple of months and then got pregnant again. Hannah was born October 24, 2011. She would not be here if we hadn’t lost AJ.
Emily: Everything going on politically right now is heartbreaking. It shows a misunderstanding of why people choose abortions…and a lack of respect for women.
Dave: And frankly, for men too. This was a decision Emily and I made together.
Emily and Dave are past the trauma; they have a new child that justifies the death of the firstborn and are vocal advocates for later term abortion procedures. Everything is looking up right? Cosmo and Planned Parenthood would like you to think so.
But like so much associated with abortion rights since its inception, it is grounded in outright lies and misinformation. It is impossible for parents to participate in the death of one of their unborn children and not suffer ongoing emotional, spiritual and relational consequences. It may not be readily apparent. You would need to follow this couple through the family life cycle. We have learned from countless parents involved in abortions that if their role in that loss is not honestly faced, repented and grieved…they will suffer symptoms in their life and relationships.
This loss will impact the relationship of Emily and David with their surviving daughter and has already deeply touched their marital relationship. The symptoms will come…they will see a pro choice counselor…they will never connect their symptoms and acting out to the abortion loss.
At some point in her life Emily and David’s daughter Hannah may rightly ask:
If shortly after my birth I was found to have some serious medical condition, would it be ok to end my life to avoid my suffering and the expense and suffering my parents would face? Or should they do everything possible to treat my condition, make me as comfortable as possible and pray for the best outcome accepting whatever happens. Why was it ok to force an early delivery of my brother Aaron and do nothing to prevent his death? Why is it ok at 20 weeks and not ok 20 days after birth?
Then You Will Know the Truth, and the Truth will Set You Free (John 8:32)
It is important to note that the Cosmo article ends with an endorsement of the radically pro abortion group Exhale as a place to resolve painful feelings after abortion. Here is an article on why women and men will never fully reconcile and heal of their abortion loss with a group where a “woman’s right to choose” is the one inviolable tenet of the program. If you have experienced abortion, find a program that allows you to fully repent, grieve and heal of your abortion loss. It is the only way to full recovery.
It is good that these couples shared briefly of their abortion experience in Cosmopolitan. They have revealed much more than they or Cosmo could ever have imagined. They shine a bright light on a procedure that has ended the life of over 50 million children in our nation, and wounded the hearts, souls and bodies of millions of their mothers and fathers. Let’s intensify our efforts, and with humility and compassion call those wounded by abortion to healing and end the scourge of abortion on this great nation.
Addendum: [It is important to note that the pro life movement continues to learn what are the most effective strategies to engage the mother and father with love at the abortion center and help them choose life for their baby. We will look at that in a future blog and ask the experts who are veterans of prayerful witness at the abortion centers what they find works best...and what may be counterproductive. Also keep in mind that the pro lifers identified in the Cosmo article may have been peaceful, prayerful and loving in their approach. However anything that calls the conflicted conscience to consider the truth about abortion can be met with hostility. We know the fears of many young woman facing an unplanned pregnancy can be powerful and feel psychologically very threatening to accept the reality of their life changing motherhood...abortion is seen as a way to avoid and end that conflict and threat and be restored to their pre-crisis sense of self...and those conflicted feelings can be projected onto the pro lifers. Of course our goal is to save the child and save the parents from participating in the death of their unborn child and all the pain that will bring. What is the best way to accomplish both on the front lines? I will go to the experts and blog later on that.]
Franklin PA Police charged a man December 30th with aggravated assault on an unborn child.
Isn’t that what abortionist do? But that is legal, right?
Here is the article on Kelton McClarrin who is facing criminal charges for an assault on his partner and their unborn child.
This story shines a bright light on the confused hypocrisy that permeates our relationship with unborn human life.
The majority of men do not descend to this level of violence and abuse that McClarrin will be charged with. However think about this – when men face an unplanned pregnancy they may tell the mother:
“Its your decision, I support whatever you decide” or
“I don’t want a baby right now, we’re not ready to be parents“…or they just flat out abandon the mom.
Men, when we see abortion as a solution to an unplanned pregnancy, aren’t we just paying the abortionist to do what Kelton McClarrin will go to jail for…aggravated assault? I’m not saying there is always a clear awareness of the moral gravity of these actions. But really, is there any difference? [If you are feeling a sense of guilt and shame about your involvement in an abortion(s), don't deny this pain or be tempted to despair. There is hope and healing...learn more here.]
The relationship and circumstances of McClarrin and his partner are no doubt complex and dysfunctional. It is likely that one or both partners come from families and environments that contributed to the instability and violence in their relationship. However given all those factors…is it ever acceptable for this man to use violence against his partner and their unborn child as a way to resolve his situation, as complex and volatile as it is?
We would never as a society sanction such abuse and violence as a solution to a complex relational problem. We would not legalize the strong and powerful abusing the weak and defenseless.
McClarrin was wrong to use his power and strength to control and abuse his partner and threaten his unborn child with death. It is just as wrong, and cowardly to pay an abortionist to do the same thing.
It is important to clarify that many men clearly understand their vocation as father and protector when facing an unplanned pregnancy and their partner sees abortion as the only solution. Despite their best efforts, in the end they will find that the law leaves them powerless to protect their child from the abortionist’s knife.
Without support and help, these men are likely to have issues with insomnia, anxiety, depression and perhaps drug abuse to escape the pain. They may have suicidal feelings and thoughts and anger management issues. There are natural temptations in their justifiable anger and grief to lash out in violence toward those responsible for their tragic loss. If you or someone you love has experienced this type of abortion loss, please get them help as soon as possible.
Even in these tragic abortion cases, violence toward abortionists, their staff or facilities can never be part of our battle to end abortion….just as violence and coercion are unacceptable ways to resolve an unplanned pregnancy.
Christmas can be a magical time, especially when enjoying the season through the eyes of children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. However alongside the lights and festivities, the joy and wonder of this special time, many struggle with a sense of grief and loss.
Sometimes it’s not a pervasive gloom, but more a gnawing melancholy we can fight off by being consumed with all the busyness of the season. You may find yourself (or notice a friend or relative) drinking more than usual at holiday celebrations, dulling an aching pain you would rather avoid.
You don’t have to be an Ebenezer Scrooge to recognize that the expectations for an idealized Hallmark Card Christmas by the fireplace fail to match up to the complex realities, the uncertainty and fear that are part of many of our lives. If we can slow down the Holiday rush for a few minutes, we may discover something important in this great feast. Perhaps the deeper meaning of this Holiday does not require us to deny our grief and pain, but to come to see that this suffering is intimately connected to the Christmas story.
Much of the music and mythology of the holiday highlight an idealized and sanitized version of the Christmas story. But the accounts of the Annunciation and birth of Jesus in the Gospels reveal that God intimately enters human history with a man and woman who are struggling with confusion and fear… just like us.
We know the stories; we have heard them thousands of times. But focus in a special way on the initial response of Mary and Joseph as they learn of God’s invitation to embrace their very mysterious vocation:
The Angel Gabriel is well aware of Mary’s fear when his greets her.
“Do not be afraid Mary…”
And to Joseph:
“Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife…”
Of course they were both confused and afraid. We think of the Christmas story in the context of cozy and warm family gatherings, with cookies baking in the oven. But in the real Christmas story, the lives of Mary and Joseph are in the process of being turned upside down! They will face even more anxiety, fear and uncertainty.
Joseph and Mary, and the life of their newborn child will be threatened with terror and death from a demonically inspired Herod. They face dangerous travel and exile from their hometowns for years to come. They surely were challenged in many ways that the stories do not recount. We know that while their faith in God would prove in time to be rock solid…no doubt that faith and trust in Him was forged in the fires of anxiety and fear. We can imagine that Joseph had other moments of doubt and confusion and would need to remember the Angel’s words of reassurance… “don’t be afraid, God is with you, keep moving ahead…trust in Him.”
We are not so different than Jesus and Mary. Fear, anxiety and depression can at times be part of our own Christmas story…and like Scrooge we may face scary ghosts of Christmas past haunting our sleep as the clock tolls midnight.
The focus on the Christ Child and the joy of children at Christmas may remind you (or someone you love) of an event in the past when you were overwhelmed with a fear and anxiety and tempted to see abortion as the only “choice.” We remember the loss of a son or daughter, grandchild, or a brother or sister who will never share in the wonder of the Holiday. This can be very much a conscious awareness. However for many this loss is frozen deep under the waters of denial. The Holiday themes trigger those feelings and memories of that lost child, which can be expressed in depression, melancholy and a hunger to remain distracted and busy in the hustle and bustle of the season.
Perhaps this was a child that you longed for in the recesses of your heart, but your partner insisted that abortion was the only rational solution. Like the Holy Family you felt powerless and afraid. You grieve that there was no Saint Joseph in your life to save the child from the modern day Herods of Planned Parenthood. Maybe you’re a man grieving that you failed to be more like Saint Joseph to that vulnerable woman facing an unplanned pregnancy.
Christmas can be a time when we are acutely aware of the loss of a beloved relative, remember joy-filled memories that have faded…or perhaps painful experiences of family dysfunction which are often magnified at the Holidays. We may be facing the anxiety of health concerns, economic and employment uncertainty, or the breakdown of a marriage.
The Cross Above the Manger
The presence of suffering, death, fear and anxiety need not be denied and suppressed in order to protect some sanitized, idealized Christmas season. If we can learn the intimate connection between the incarnation and birth of our Savior and his suffering on the cross, we may discover in our own suffering the true joy and hope of this holiday.
The Gospels…indicate that the Cross above the Manger is more than a mere decoration…The birth and death of Jesus Christ, the Manger and the Cross, belong together indissolubly. God became man in order to die for us as man. God was born in Bethlehem in order to be able to lay down his life on Golgotha out of love for men! Thus the Manger and the Cross form a union. Both the Manger and the Cross are for us the revelation of God’s love.
When our lives are turned upside down by the tsunamis of upheaval and suffering that come unexpectedly and without warning, we can turn to a God that is intimately connected with the suffering of his people. We can come to a deeper understanding of that powerful and precious title of our savior and God born into the anxiety and violence faced by many poor families, and a baby Jesus who would end his life being tortured to death on a cross.
This child’s title is Emanuel – God with Us.
Loneliness and isolation in times of suffering and temptation can blind us to an essential truth of our faith; God is with us in our suffering…intimately present to us in Spirit and in the hearts of those who reach out to us in love.
During the Holidays give the gift to a friend or relative (or to yourself!) of providing an opportunity to share what it is truly on their heart and soul this Christmas season. Acknowledge that while this is a time of joy, you know that they may also be suffering from the loss of a loved one, financial anxieties, and if they have confided in you, a previous abortion. Allow them to share their feelings and memories. If they are in need of deeper healing of a loss like abortion, share with them the good news that this is a perfect time of year to bring this suffering to the Lord, and attend a program for spiritual and emotional healing after abortion in the New Year.
This is the Reason for the Season!
May we draw strength in the year ahead from the courage and faith of the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary, though struggling with with fear and anxiety, gave birth to the mission of their Son.
For those healed of abortion loss, like Scrooge on Christmas morning they learn that despair and death do not have the last word!
They discover in recovery from this wound their own special mission. They respond to a calling to proclaim the truth of their abortion loss and the good news of healing to a Nation and world that desperately needs to hear their message in the Silent No More Awareness Campaign.
Jesus has promised us that in time he will transform all our suffering, into the joy and hope of resurrection to eternal life.
When in the darkness and loneliness of suffering this can seem a very distant hope.
I pray that these words of Christ will fill you with peace and joy…that whatever you are facing, and will face in the days ahead, you can trust that He is indeed Emanuel and is close to you in your suffering, and will transform the darkest shadows of your life with the blinding light of His Glorious Resurrection:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them [as their God]. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.” The one who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then he said, “Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.” Rev: 21
For now we see as through a mirror, in darkness, but then we shall see face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know even as I also am known. –Corinthians 13:12
In this Advent season Fr. Frank Pavone reveals the powerful connection between the images of aborted children and the incarnation and wounds of Christ:
The first Christians…saw and touched [Jesus]…This contact with the humanity of Christ speaks to us of what we are to do now for the unborn. It is the contact with the human reality of their lives, and the human tragedy of their deaths, that is to impel us in our self-sacrificing love for them. That is why we need to look at the pictures… of what abortion does to that baby…
The use of pictures of abortion victims in pro life efforts is clearly consistent with the strategies of other social justice movements. These movements used graphic images of social injustice to expose evil (e.g., racism, genocide), raise awareness and stir the lukewarm to take action. While there are reasonable differences regarding the proper context to display such images, there is clearly a strong resistance to exposing this evil. Sometimes we find outright hostility toward those who attempt to reveal the true nature of the abortion procedure in their communities.
However I invite you to consider expanding our understanding of graphic images to also include the graphic experiences of emotional and physical pain shared by thousands of women and men after abortion loss. As we shall see, exposing this graphic suffering can also cause controversy, and even hostility to those that try and reveal this truth.
What does this type of graphic image look like?
From the British Newspaper the Sentinel:
Throughout university I was in a relationship with a girl…Just before our finals she left suddenly and seemed to disappear. Fifteen years on she contacted me through Facebook and suggested we meet. She eventually told me why she left, that she was pregnant with our child, knew I wouldn’t support her, had an abortion and became very depressed and attempted suicide…
The images of aborted children are inescapably gruesome and disturbing. They reveal the true nature of the actions hidden behind the obfuscating rhetoric of “choice.” But note in this father’s anguished letter the depression and attempted suicide of the mother of their child who suffered for years after the procedure before finding help. Consider the despair that would lead this woman to attempt an abortion of her own precious life. (Two studies from Finland(1)show that women who had abortions were 6 to 7 times more likely to commit suicide than women who gave birth. )
This mother’s despair reveals to us an equally disturbing graphic representation of the consequences of choice. In a very real sense, the graphic image/memory of this mother’s abortion, the unresolved complicated grief and pain, is etched into her heart, soul and mind. The images of aborted children often surge up from the unconscious of their parents in graphic nightmares, similar to those on pro life graphic displays. These images of suffering and death between child and parent reflect back upon one another as they are intimately connected.
The graphic images of aborted children and their wounded parents reveal to us an impassioned plea for justice, healing and reconciliation.
A Father’s Graphic Pain
The letter from this father shared in the Sentinel reveals that this is not an event for him buried in the past, but a present reality that came crashing unexpectedly into his life like a blind-side car wreck. He struggles with the shame, guilt and depression that many men silently suffer after participating in the death of their unborn child. This is a father that has matured and moved away from the selfishness of his youth so he now understands the full gravity of the child’s death, the effect on the mother and now his own complicated grief. As he tries to absorb this shock, he struggles to keep up with the normal functions of his day to day life…and keep up appearances that everything is just fine:
I was shocked that she had gone through all of that, on her own and largely because of me. I feel so guilty that I treated her so unkindly. Since she told me I have been off sick from work and my friends are worried about me, but I’m too ashamed to tell them what is going on.
This isolation and shame are such deadly traps for men and women dealing with grief and loss after abortion. Without a program to share, recover and reconcile this loss men can turn to anything that will bury the pain; drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, work. But depression and grief can also find expression in a seething anger that may submerge for a time, but will surface like toxic steam bubbling to the surface of their lives, bringing additional pain and heartache to men and their loved ones.
The Truth Will Set You Free
There is often controversy and hostility to the use of graphic images of abortion victims. But you will find a similar opposition to exposing the graphic images and truth of those wounded by abortion loss.
Three women physicians, Donna Harrison, Mary Davenport and Martha Shuping, were invited to give lectures on complications of abortion for the MWIA, the Medical Women’s International Association. Pro abortion agents within the conference forced a cancellation of their presentation which offered compelling and legitimate research confirming there are significant health risks for women after abortion. This type of denial by professional health care providers is a cruel form of malpractice toward those that need this information as well as resources for recovery.
There is Hope and Healing After Abortion
Parents can come to see the paschal mystery of Christ reflected in their own journey of suffering and death caused by sin. Through an abortion recovery program centered in the saving power of Jesus and His resurrection, parents can embrace their aborted child – not as a dismembered nightmare baby – but as a unique son or daughter, whole and safe in the embrace of a loving God. They can be lifted out of the pit of despair by the hope of seeing their child face to face one day in heaven:
For now we see as through a mirror, in darkness, but then we shall see face to face…then I shall know even as I also am known. –Corinthians 13:12
Marching for Life
As we once again prepare to gather as a national movement of social justice at the March for Life in Washington, DC, may we pray for an even greater conviction to expose (with humility, prudence and sensitivity) the graphic image of what abortion does to the unborn child, and the graphic suffering of their parents after abortion loss.
Stephanie Gray writes in LifeNews:
33,000: the number of Canadian women having abortions this year who have previously had an abortion. That’s according to the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology Canada: “At least one third of women undergoing induced abortions in Canada have had a prior abortion” (2012; 34(6): 536).
In the United States the incidence of repeat abortion is even higher with nearly half of all abortions being repeat procedures (46% according to the Guttmacher Institute.) The Population Research Institute reports that the average Russian woman has seven abortions in her lifetime. Those offering after abortion healing programs like Rachel’s Vineyard know that multiple abortions are common as women grieve and heal of repeat procedures.
Some common reactions to this phenomenon of repeat abortions:
What is wrong with these women? Don’t they know about birth control…or is abortion their preferred type of birth control? How can they so casually conceive and abort their pregnancies? You think they would have learned from their first time on the abortion table to not get themselves in this mess again?
These are understandable questions, and for those of us working to end the scourge of abortion, and heal the wounds of this loss it is important to correctly respond to what is truly an alarming worldwide pattern.
The more you learn about repeat abortion and the connection to unresolved emotional trauma/grief, the greater will be your conviction to not only stop all abortions, but also to bring women and men to healing programs as soon as possible after that initial abortion loss. This healing will save the lives of millions of unborn children lost in repeat abortion procedures.
Forbidden Grief: The Mastery of Abortion Trauma through Repetition
Repeat abortions are a traumatic cycle of death and destruction for the unborn…and their mothers. Theresa Burke, Ph.D., published Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion a groundbreaking study of abortion trauma.
Dr Burke shares:
Christine had her first abortion at the age of 18. She was under treatment for mild depression, and her psychiatrist recommended abortion. Since this was before Roe, Christine was told that she would have to sign a paper that stated she would commit suicide if she did not have an abortion. Her mental health care workers orchestrated the entire event. In reality Christine knew she would not kill herself, but she felt that she had to follow her doctor’s orders.
She later married and became pregnant again at the age of 22. Her husband was eager and ready to begin a family, but she felt anxiety and fear over becoming a parent. The message from her psychiatrist that colored her view of herself as a potential mother was that she was not mentally stable enough to have a child and that having a baby would provoke a mental breakdown and even suicidal behavior. The thought of having a baby simply terrified her. Because of her fears of inadequacy, she had another abortion and divorced shortly thereafter.
Christine’s third pregnancy also ended in a second-trimester abortion. This pattern continued three more times for a total of six abortions. Each time she had an intense desire to be a mother, but each time she could see no other recourse but abortion, reenacting the first trauma of helplessness to overcome her perceived inadequacy and incompetence.
- And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation. – Genesis 2:3
The number seven in Judaism is a symbol of the covenant of the Jewish people united in holiness and sanctification with the Lord. In a basement prison cell at Dachau, amidst the apocalyptic horror of World War…we find seven pregnant women. The Seven escaped the Auschwitz death machine, and were kept safe and warm by a Jewish Capo (prisoner overseer) who would not allow her basic humanity to be destroyed by the Nazi culture of death.
As we suffer the temporary setback of the defeat of the Albuquerque Ordinance, we can be inspired to remain steadfast and resolute by the Seven Women of Dachau, and their brave pro life protector.
The Archetypal Culture of Death…Empowered by Denial
- And I saw a beast rising out of the sea…and on its heads were blasphemous names. Rev 12:3
Near the end of the Second World War, even though the German army was in retreat on both fronts, the essential work of exterminating the Jews and other enemies of the Reich pressed on with characteristic Nazi efficiency and diabolic zeal.
Amidst this European apocalypse, a young Jewish couple, Miriam and Bela Rosenthal fall in love and from that love…new life is conceived:
They were married in Budapest on April 5, 1944…The honeymoon was brief. Within a few short months, Bela was sent to a slave labour camp, Miriam to Auschwitz. She was later transferred to Augsberg Germany, to work in a Messerschmitt factory. All the while, her belly grew. Two men from the SS appeared at the factory one day, with snarling German shepherds, demanding to know who the pregnant women were. They asked a second time. (National Post)
While the Nazis nurtured the illusion of limitless technological and social progress and a racially purified utopian worker/agricultural paradise…they created the archetypal culture of death:
The Germans murdered over a million Jewish children. Like the sick and the old, they were viewed as useless mouths to feed and often among the first killed. Some were used in medical experiments, but newborns were typically murdered at birth. (National Post)
In such a culture of death, it is no surprise that Miriam (like other pregnant women being summoned by the SS) was destined to be sent immediately to the gas chambers upon arrival at Auschwitz.
On the train to what she rightly feared was certain death, Miriam encounters a German citizen:
There was a woman, a civilian, and she said: “Frau, what is with you? You don’t have hair. The clothes you are wearing. What are you, from a mental hospital? “She didn’t have a dream, this German woman, of all the horrible things the Germans were doing. I told her I am not from a mental hospital, I am going to Auschwitz — I am going to the gas. She looked at me like I was crazy…(National Post.)
Does this reflect the sentiments of so many us and our fellow citizens, decent people not directly complicit but clearly in denial of the atrocities perpetuated in their own communities? How many dismiss the fact that babies are being tortured to death in the womb in many abortion procedures as exaggerated propaganda by pro life fanatics?
A Pro Life Hero Creates a Womb of Safety for Pregnant Prisoners
-He placed the lampstand in the tent of meeting opposite the table on the south side of the tabernacle…And you shall command the children of Israel that they bring you pure oil of pressed olives for the light, to cause the lamp to burn continually. Exodus 40:24, 27:20-21
Thanks to the advancement of allied forces and the attempt by the Nazis to hide their criminal acts, the killing machine at Auschwitz was destroyed and Miriam was sent to Dachau where she was surprised to find herself imprisoned with six other pregnant women. During a historical period marked by merciless cruelty and massive death and destruction on an unprecedented scale, we meet a nameless hero:
A “Capo,” a Jewish woman charged with overseeing
the women, smuggled a stove into the room, keeping the expecting mothers warm during the freezing winter months of 1945. The Germans discovered the stove and beat the Capo bloody, ripping into her flesh with their truncheons.… “After the beating she told us, ‘Don’t you worry girls, the stove will be back tomorrow.’ ” It was. (National Post)
What an example of heroic strength and sacrifice. We can see in the light and warmth of this stove a symbol of the love of God still burning in the heart of this woman despite her sufferings, like one of the shining seven lampstands of Revelation. These seven lamps of Revelation are associated with omniscient divinity. We can see the proclamation by Jesus that he is the Light of the World, as the final manifestation and fulfillment of the Old Testament symbol of God’s presence in the Temple Tabernacle. In a sense, we can see the presence of Christ, of his love and light still shining amidst the horrible suffering inflicted upon the Jewish people, Catholic Clergy/Religious, and so many other Christians and innocent lay victims by the Nazis and communists.
This Jewish “Capo” worked to create a type of warm safe womb to hold these vulnerable women, to protect them and their unborn children from the deadly cold. This brings to mind those in our day that offer shelter and resources to pregnant women at risk of abortion.
Forming Men into Monsters – SS Officers and Later Term Abortionists
The SS officers who beat this brave Capo were formed by their over-seers to be devoid of all normal human compassion toward prisoners. Repeated exposure to brutality and beatings (as an orchestrated part of their training) helped to form these men to not only master any natural resistance to such violence but in time to even take pleasure in the suffering of prisoners.
We see a similar type of mastery of emotional trauma by later term abortion doctors who put aside a normal humane response when dismembering an unborn child and grow to take satisfaction and even pleasure in a procedure performed with clinical efficiency. In these cases we can see the unborn child as a type of prisoner under the abortionist’s total control. You can read a horrifying clinical description of a D&E procedure from Dr Anthony Levitino a former abortionist.
God’s Mysterious Presence Amidst Horrific Evil
- Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the judgment of the great whore who is seated on many waters…” – Rev 15:1
The Albuquerque Ordinance, which would have banned abortions after 20 weeks fell to defeat Tuesday evening November 19, 2013. This is the first skirmish in a much larger battle to raise awareness of the horror of many abortion procedures and the pain they inflict on the unborn and their parents. We are rightly disappointed that the Albuquerque Ordinance failed. But we can also be inspired by these seven pregnant women of Dachau rescued from a Nazi death machine that viewed their unborn children as useless fetal tissue, not worthy of life.
There was a time when this Nazi evil reigned supreme, and to those under its power it seemed to possess total control over the hearts and mind of the German people. The power of the Third Reich was broken in a conflagration of judgment manifest in war and destruction, the natural consequence of the grave offenses against God and his people. Hitler and the other architects of this madness were consumed by the same demons they unleashed upon mankind.
We are called to use every peaceful means possible to pull our nation back from the brink of self destruction as we battle our own culture of death. The story of Miriam Rosenthal reminds us that the very evil that our grandfathers, brothers and fathers fought so valiantly to defeat, has taken deep root on American soil. With their allies in academia, media, entertainment, and government pro death forces have created a propaganda machine and control of information that would be the envy of Joseph Goebbels. ( Goebbels was the architect of the very successful marketing strategy to sell the Hitler/Nazi deception to the German people, and mask the true nature of their genocidal agenda.)
Yet, the Thousand Year Reich fell after a short but hellishly destructive reign.
Let us be inspired by that brave nameless Capo of Dachau, learn from the defeat in Albuquerque and fight on with confidence in the justice and decency of our cause and our final victory in Christ.
- Then the seventh angel blew his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Messiah, and he will reign forever and ever.” Rev 11:15