I wanted it stopped
I came to have the abortion because I started to have sex with my boyfriend.
Were you given any adequate information and counseling prior
to the abortion(s)?
Not to what alternatives might be and help pursuing them.
The first abortion was not that painful - sometimes I wonder if
it was a "real" abortion. The next one was very painful - very degrading and the
third one I wanted out of there. I wanted it stopped and I wanted to leave.
How did your abortion(s) affect you and others?
The self-esteem I had was gone. I became bitter and angry. I ran
"hot" or "cold", I had no emotions and no intimacy.
To deal with the abortions, I tried "mood altering" stimulants
to help cover the pain and not to think about the abortions. I tried to find
relief in relationships with men, alcohol, drugs, self-abuse, nothing helped
until I found forgiveness through Jesus Christ and later a P.A.C.E. group.
Abortion has changed me because I am fearful of making the wrong
decision and not able to trust myself -- now I can pray and seek God's will --
do the best I can to be happy.