My baby was sixteen weeks old
My story may be more unique yet equally tragic. I was 18, a virgin and
finally had a boyfriend. I wanted to be loved! One night he was more forceful
and I was foolish to put myself into a situation like this. We were both
drinking and what happened you would definitely call "date rape". I was upset at
what happened and quickly left. This happened when I was in college.
The next day he apologized and I thought everything was o.k. To make a long
story short, I was pregnant and did not even know it or suspect it until I
finally got a pregnancy test -- I was 14-15 weeks along. I had felt funny but I
just never thought that I'd be pregnant.
I was in a panic. The women at the infirmary handed me a list of abortion
clinics and a list of adoption places. That was it -- no feeling -- I was on my
own. My parents at the time were on the brink of divorce and my siblings were
busy with their own lives. I had nowhere to turn. My friends couldn't do much.
They were encouraging me to have the abortion. My boyfriend didn't want the
responsibility -- he was putting himself through school and that was enough.
I felt I had no choice. I knew better but I was numb and in a
panic. It's like a disgusting nightmare. If I could back and stop myself. Well
on March 15 at 2:30pm came my baby's death. I am so sad as I think about this --
so regretful and sorry. My boyfriend took me there and paid for it. My baby was
sixteen weeks old and my boyfriend paid $450 cash. The abortionist was a white
man, balding and said he did abortionists one day a week (The blood of the
innocent must have been profitable for him.) and there was also an attendant in
the room. I haven't talked to my boyfriend in many years.
The information given was a sonogram to show the size of the
uterus, I was not shown the screen. The counseling given was a description of
the female anatomy -- that's all I can remember.
The abortion was the saddest, worst day of my life. It was very
painful but nothing compared to what the baby was through. I don't want to think
much more about it.
After the abortion, I was extremely depressed for a few months
afterward. The relationship I had ended a few weeks afterward. Then I blocked
most of the experience for years. When I came back to church, I made peace with
God. And now that I have a baby, the magnitude of what I did has been a very
sad, painful realization, 10 years later.
To deal with the abortion I have made peace with God and have
prayed to end abortion. I participate in "life-chains" and volunteer time at a
crisis pregnancy center. I do graphics, advertisements, newsletters, and donate
items all to the crisis pregnancy center. These things have helped but I will
not be happy until there is no more abortion. People must realize that abortion
Abortion has changed my life by turning a negative into a
positive. I am so mindful of this issue, I can understand what a girl in crisis
is going through. I pray constantly for this horror to end.
*One thing I want to add from my tragedy is this identifies such
a need for pro-life presence and a crisis pregnancy center on college campuses.
From my work at a crisis pregnancy center years later, I agonize to myself if
there had been a place at college, would my baby have died? I'm not trying to
put the blame on others. I had the abortion but the pro-aborts have the upper
hand on culture, money, a quick fix and it’s a big tide to overcome. College
campuses can be so "left wing". I think there's a need to counter it with some
kind of pro-life resource. I can't bring my baby back but I can hope, help and
pray that others don't go through what I went through.
**Please use any part of my comments to help others and reveal
the truth about abortion.