My baby was sixteen weeks old

My story may be more unique yet equally tragic. I was 18, a virgin and finally had a boyfriend. I wanted to be loved! One night he was more forceful and I was foolish to put myself into a situation like this. We were both drinking and what happened you would definitely call "date rape". I was upset at what happened and quickly left. This happened when I was in college. 

The next day he apologized and I thought everything was o.k. To make a long story short, I was pregnant and did not even know it or suspect it until I finally got a pregnancy test -- I was 14-15 weeks along. I had felt funny but I just never thought that I'd be pregnant. 

I was in a panic. The women at the infirmary handed me a list of abortion clinics and a list of adoption places. That was it -- no feeling -- I was on my own. My parents at the time were on the brink of divorce and my siblings were busy with their own lives. I had nowhere to turn. My friends couldn't do much. They were encouraging me to have the abortion. My boyfriend didn't want the responsibility -- he was putting himself through school and that was enough.

I felt I had no choice. I knew better but I was numb and in a panic. It's like a disgusting nightmare. If I could back and stop myself. Well on March 15 at 2:30pm came my baby's death. I am so sad as I think about this --  so regretful and sorry. My boyfriend took me there and paid for it. My baby was sixteen weeks old and my boyfriend paid $450 cash. The abortionist was a white man, balding and said he did abortionists one day a week (The blood of the innocent must have been profitable for him.) and there was also an attendant in the room. I haven't talked to my boyfriend in many years.

The information given was a sonogram to show the size of the uterus, I was not shown the screen. The counseling given was a description of the female anatomy -- that's all I can remember.

The abortion was the saddest, worst day of my life. It was very painful but nothing compared to what the baby was through. I don't want to think much more about it.

After the abortion, I was extremely depressed for a few months afterward. The relationship I had ended a few weeks afterward. Then I blocked most of the experience for years. When I came back to church, I made peace with God. And now that I have a baby, the magnitude of what I did has been a very sad, painful realization, 10 years later.

To deal with the abortion I have made peace with God and have prayed to end abortion. I participate in "life-chains" and volunteer time at a crisis pregnancy center. I do graphics, advertisements, newsletters, and donate items all to the crisis pregnancy center. These things have helped but I will not be happy until there is no more abortion. People must realize that abortion is wrong.

Abortion has changed my life by turning a negative into a positive. I am so mindful of this issue, I can understand what a girl in crisis is going through. I pray constantly for this horror to end.

*One thing I want to add from my tragedy is this identifies such a need for pro-life presence and a crisis pregnancy center on college campuses. From my work at a crisis pregnancy center years later, I agonize to myself if there had been a place at college, would my baby have died? I'm not trying to put the blame on others. I had the abortion but the pro-aborts have the upper hand on culture, money, a quick fix and it’s a big tide to overcome. College campuses can be so "left wing". I think there's a need to counter it with some kind of pro-life resource. I can't bring my baby back but I can hope, help and pray that others don't go through what I went through.

**Please use any part of my comments to help others and reveal the truth about abortion.