Priests for Life - Testimonies
Mothers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion

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I never had any children and now it's too late

1.  How did you come to have the abortion(s) and who was involved?

I was single, 27 and very active sexually. I became pregnant to a married man of a different race. This was in 1972. I was afraid of what my parents would think - I didn't want them to know. I also had no idea how I could raise a bi-racial child in our racist society, nor did I feel I would be able to manage financially as I was working as a secretary with small salary.

2. Were you given adequate information and counseling prior to the abortion(s)?

No. I really had no idea of what I was doing. I was completely ignorant about fetal development. I just wanted to get out of the crisis I was in. I called a psychiatrist who automatically assumed I would want an abortion and he made the necessary arrangements and sent me to an obstetrician who barely even spoke to me. Neither of them "counseled" me.

3. How would you describe your abortion(s)? 

Physically - very easy. I had it under anesthetic in a hospital. There were no medical problems. Emotionally, I was very shaky, without really knowing why.

4. How did your abortion(s) affect you and others?

I had all the classic symptoms of PAS. I buried the experience but for years it affected me subconsciously. It made me afraid to ever get pregnant again and I gave up sex until I got married 5 years later but even then I was afraid to get pregnant even though my husband wanted children. When I finally faced what I had done I became very self-destructive.

5. Please describe what you have done to deal with your abortion(s), and whether it helped.

I have been through pastoral counseling and intensive psychotherapy (including hospitalizations).  I have done much writing about the abortion and have gone public with it. I have spoken to groups about my experience. With help I learned to forgive myself and know God has forgiven me.  I work in local and national pro-life causes.

6. How do you think your abortion(s) changed your life?

In many ways. I gained weight after the abortion and still have a weight problem. But I think the greatest effect was that it caused me to never want to get pregnant again so I never had any children and now I am 50 and it's too late.

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