I still hear them screaming
In the 80's I had multiple abortions. I murdered three of God's children.
Using abortion as a birth control. Thinking it would be a quick fix. Now I am
doing my time for the rest of my life. I'll continue to cry at night picturing
my babies. Sometimes I get so depressed about it I am up for several days and
this was several years ago. The man I was with for ten years encouraged me to
have them and paid for them. Sometimes I can see my babies in the clouds, their
shape and sometimes I still hear them screaming. "Mommy help me, please", -- as
the person would tear them out. I know my Lord forgives me but its still with
me. I am still trying to forgive myself.
The counseling was as quick as it took for the Demerol to take effect. Cash
only, she says.
A cloudy nightmare, the last abortion -- I wanted to say stop, please. I even
prayed out loud "To God to forgive me". I knew it was wrong. Yet, I let him do
it. I think of my babies as being my guardian angels. I certainly thank God, my
friend and Life Choices Staff for being there.
Just so you'll know my last pregnancy I was told to get an abortion. (even
though I had one tube that was unfunctional, on the birth control pill). My
boyfriend was really upset and I was in shock. I believe God, no, I know that
God had it all planned, my boyfriend left us but now I have a wonderful baby
boy, his name "Justice". He has already saved my life, by calling 911 when I
passed out in our hallway. So you see, if I had not had him, I would be gone.
Not only is he my hero but you ought to hear my little four-year-old pray. He
sounds like a little "Billy Graham".