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I still hear them screaming

In the 80's I had multiple abortions. I murdered three of God's children. Using abortion as a birth control. Thinking it would be a quick fix. Now I am doing my time for the rest of my life. I'll continue to cry at night picturing my babies. Sometimes I get so depressed about it I am up for several days and this was several years ago. The man I was with for ten years encouraged me to have them and paid for them. Sometimes I can see my babies in the clouds, their shape and sometimes I still hear them screaming. "Mommy help me, please", -- as the person would tear them out. I know my Lord forgives me but its still with me. I am still trying to forgive myself.

The counseling was as quick as it took for the Demerol to take effect. Cash only, she says.

A cloudy nightmare, the last abortion -- I wanted to say stop, please. I even prayed out loud "To God to forgive me". I knew it was wrong. Yet, I let him do it. I think of my babies as being my guardian angels. I certainly thank God, my friend and Life Choices Staff for being there.

Just so you'll know my last pregnancy I was told to get an abortion. (even though I had one tube that was unfunctional, on the birth control pill). My boyfriend was really upset and I was in shock. I believe God, no, I know that God had it all planned, my boyfriend left us but now I have a wonderful baby boy, his name "Justice". He has already saved my life, by calling 911 when I passed out in our hallway. So you see, if I had not had him, I would be gone. Not only is he my hero but you ought to hear my little four-year-old pray. He sounds like a little "Billy Graham".

Priests for Life
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