I had murdered my own child

I was twenty-two years old and four months clean from drugs and alcohol. I was scared of the thought of being clean and a mother, it was overwhelming to me. Everyone I spoke with was pro-abortion except the father, whom I did not love and wanted nothing more to do with. To me it was the solution to my problem. I was more concerned with myself.

Considering all the information on the subject I was not given any information. This was a major decision and it was treated very casual.

The abortion itself hurt physically greater than anyone had prepared me for, I was numb emotionally and just wanted the pregnancy to be over with. Afterwards, I felt relief the whole procedure was over.

Six months after I gave birth I became a Christian and the Lord began to reveal that I had murdered my own child and I sought His forgiveness. After volunteering at my local Crisis Program Center I agreed to attend the post-abortion Bible Study. I was relieved to know that my child is in heaven with his maker and I will meet him someday.

I will live with great regret for the rest of my life here on earth. It is so permanent because I know first hand the crisis, the pain, the denial, the grief, or regretting their abortion.