Very traumatic

How did you come to have the abortion(s) and who was involved?

For three years I was involved with a man that had been a good friend for three years. At the time I became pregnant he was not supportive of the pregnancy. Since that time I have had an occasion to talk with him about this and I feel now that he would have become more supportive. I borrowed the money for the abortion from a friend. Several of my friends were aware of the abortion, no one in my family was aware of it.

How would you describe the abortion(s)? 

The clinic I used was very professional. The abortion was not painful but very traumatic. I felt a sudden sense of relief and loss. There were no physical aftereffects. There has been many emotional problems.  I gained 100 pounds following the abortion. I have since had one child born, there is never an anniversary of the abortion or the child's due date that passes without my knowing it.

How did the abortion(s) affect you and others?

I have had lots of trauma from it. I think I still feel very guilty. I recently became pregnant again and could not go through with an abortion that I had arranged. The circumstances are different in that the father wants the child, but he has not been supportive financially at this point. I don't feel my decision to keep this child was based on the child as much as my past.

Please describe what you have done to deal with the abortion(s), and whether it helped.

At this time I really haven't done anything to deal with this past. I would be open to suggestions as to anything that would help in this process. I don't think this will ever go away but maybe I can learn to live with it with the right help.

How do you think the abortion(s) changed your life?

The aftereffects of gaining all the weight changed everything. I also lost confidence in myself. I think that my ability to make decisions has been affected. I don't have the belief in myself that I had before the abortion, nor do I have the trust in other people.