It grieves me to remember

In 1976, I graduated from high school and a year later I found my parents intended to divorce. A short while later I found out that I was pregnant. I realized that my mom had enough problems. I sought the help of Planned Parenthood. From there on I slipped into a mass of bad choices. I might as well have carried a scarlet "P" on my chest for as I kept my sexual encounters rare (so I felt birth control was silly and too great a risk), I became pregnant four other times between 1977 and 1987.

Praise Jesus -- I did get married (for only 16 months in 1984) and one night the day before my period was due, I looked at the ceiling and said "Well, God if you're ready -- I am". My precious 11-yr. old son is the result of that commitment. As I look back it grieves me to remember that no one but me wanted him. My mom demanded I abort him -- my own husband counseled me to do the same. Only my grandmother took me aside and told me that God provides for children. I listened and kept the baby. When my son was two years old I was a single mom and conceived again. At that time the consequence was for me to be infertile for the rest of my life.

Well, that was an overview of my secular horror. Satan attempted to use my guilt and remorse for years to help me bring my life to an end. But Jesus used my boyfriend to share Jesus with me and alone in my room at 2:00 am God showed me one-on-one where I was headed. In my sweat-baked fear I called out to Jesus. This happened several years ago.

Since that time, the Lord has done much to release me from my bondage of guilt and pain. Releasing from the fact that my Dad sexually abused me before the time I could even walk and placing the blame firmly on other shoulders than on my own. I was freed to the point that I could speak at Christian functions and after the talks women take me aside and share similar circumstances. It is like my obedience to become vulnerable and be used of God clears the path for others.

I also found great immeasurable joy, just last year -- a 17-year old girl came to my home expecting me to cast guilt on her out-of-wedlock situation. All I could do was cry for the life that she considered aborting or rather kill. I did tell her that a lie no matter who tells it is still a lie no matter what. How she dealt with it was her business but in her heart of hearts she would always know the truth because God had placed it there -- just as surely as he has placed the young girl within her.

The teenage girl had the baby and she is now 10 months old. They paid us a unexpected visit and the baby is the joy of the mother's life. The baby's picture is on my fridge as a reminder of the miracle. That is the joy of life celebrated and honored and I firmly believe in seeing the results of our baser natures followed through upon for the emotional health of mothers and fathers, too. I know of the lessons unfulfilled pregnancies result in.

I give to my desire of life. As my new life verse -- in the New Living Translation -- "Go out! Prepare a highway for my people to return! Smooth out the road -- pull out the boulders; raise a flag for all the nations to see."

I would like to have a class action suit against Planned Parenthood and I believe [if I stepped] forward many other women would do the same. Because I yield to Christ other women see me as a leader and as I have prayed and weighed the cost to me and to my godly husband and son I can do nothing less.

My desire is not hate-based but it is in the desire to allow truth its rightful place in our country's public forum. Imagine women's motivation in stepping forward in their unborn child's defense. To do something for those lives that were ended because of words like fetus rather than baby. Imagine the healing that would occur for doing something tangible, concrete in that child's behalf. I suggest a lawsuit based upon an industry legitimized by judicial activism. The truth has been subjugated and was fortified by our inherent ability to embrace darkness rather than walk into the light of the sanctity of life. The next to follow is the elderly.

If we were truth and love driven by suing the abortion leaders based on their misuse of our country's constitution in '74 and their guilty knowledge that indeed they are well aware that they terminate human life for profit. They deliberately censor -- both sides of the issue are not equally given airtime. I think Jesus' truth will win.

After years of deliberate prayer I think 10% of their revenues should be sought and funneled into a fund to support adoption services, to help young women who are alone and pregnant and to provide a vehicle to air abstinence philosophies.

Each post-abortive woman coming forward would be awarded monies with which they could contribute to a charity supporting pro-life causes on their unborn child's behalf.