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Pressured by my mom

I was 16 the first time and was pressured into it by my mom. I accepted it though and hardened my heart to it, but I know inside it was wrong and it was a baby. I had two more abortions later on when I was approx. 26 and 27 or 28. I had cheated on my husband once and it just wasn’t convenient the other time.

Were you given adequate information and counseling prior to the abortion(s)? 

No! They gave me practically no information. I was told about the procedure very quickly and I, of course, asked no questions. I didn’t want to know too much.

I numbed myself to the feelings of guilt and loss and laughed it off. The first time I was awake for it and asked the doctor if it was a boy or girl. He just said he couldn’t tell. I asked if I could see it, he said no.

I carried the feelings of guilt, shame, loss around my heart for years. Yet, I kept up a front of being pro-choice in order not to have to deal with the pain.

When I admitted (finally) to myself that what I had done was kill my three babies, I was overwhelmed with the pain and condemned myself. A friend who I shared it with referred me to CP Center and the post-abortion bible study.

I had something else to be ashamed of. In addition to other things, I had to cover it up somehow and so in just the ways that I lied to myself and hid myself from others, that is how it changed my life.

Priests for Life
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