I got pregnant when I was a senior in high school. I had been
sexually active for less than a year and had been dating the father of the
baby for almost three years. We decided to have an abortion almost
immediately after I found out. He went with me to the clinic to have a
pregnancy test done. We decided there we would have the abortion.
About five days later we came back to the same clinic to have the abortion
Immediately following the abortion, I felt a great sense of relief but also
some fear... Fear of infection, fear of the procedure being performed correctly,
fear of death, fear of my parents finding out and being embarrassed of me. The
abortion itself was painful, saddening and scary. I insisted that my boyfriend
be in the room holding my hand as the abortion was being performed.
I have not told anyone except my husband. My old boyfriend and I have talked
about it and both wonder what our child would have looked at, was it a girl or a
boy? I still cry (it’s been 10 years) ... My husband comforts me and
reminds me that I have been forgiven by God.
I realized that I made the decision that I thought was best at the time. I
was young, scared, and didn’t know I would be affected by this for such a long
time. I have prayed a lot about it and have asked God to forgive me of this sin.
It’s brought me closer to God. It’s made me realize how much I need Him. I
need Him to comfort me and let me know that He loves me because He created me
not for anything good I have done. It has made me realize that He will always
love me no matter what sin I could commit.