I felt cheap

I was 8 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of several years. No one else knew I had an urgent need to get "rid of this" problem and my boyfriend didn't want to get married. We had pre-marital sex when I found out my Dad was having a affair. I thought sex before marriage was for me too!

I was not given enough information about abortion. I cried hysterically the whole time and I was only counseled on how not to let this happen again.

The abortion was very painful physically. (I had an D and C) I still can hear the suction noise and I have nightmares about it. I felt cheap the nurses and doctors rushed me through like they were herding cattle. I felt numb afterwards, very empty and a deep sense of loss even though I didn't think of it being a baby.

I was anorexic for about a year and a half because I felt I had to punish myself with overdosing in laxatives. I denied myself relationships and friendships. For about eight months after the abortion, I drank alcohol heavily and was sexually active, I didn't care if I lived or died.