I felt my baby panic

My sister suggested the first one (abortion), I was horrified at the idea. She set the appointment up and I went to have the procedure done. Before I got the abortion, the father told me about his son. Now that I think about it I think he was suggesting I keep it, although I can't be sure. I had another after that by him and my mother paid for it.

There was no counseling except the papers I signed to approve the procedure and the other paper saying I knew the possible risks. When asked the questions I was told the risks were minimal and the procedure, the way it was explained to me I thought it was safe. Any doubts were simply pushed to the side by the lady.

I felt my baby panic when the abortion was in the process and I told the doctor. I changed my mind and he said something to the effect that it was too late. Now with my second abortion it took me two trips because I didn't want to get it done the first time.

I have had nervous breakdowns, depression, and I became homeless. My daughter was born when I was homeless and my Dad adopted her. One child -- I can't remember if I gave her up for adoption or the baby died at the hospital. I forgot about one of the other abortions that I had done. I can't work anymore and I become psychotic when I do not take my medicine. I am schizoid with manic depression.

I'm in the process of going to the Crisis Pregnancy Center and we are using the women in Ramah: A Post Abortion Bible Study. I also read Christian books to help deal with the pain.

The abortion has changed my life because I lost my job and haven't been able to hold steady job. I haven't felt the same since. I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but God came into my life and I quit drinking and doing illegal drugs.