Most traumatic experience of my life
I felt trapped by the situation -- I did not allow myself to consider any
alternatives and no one offered any. The baby's father provided financial
support and my best friend provided emotional support.
At the time I thought I had information, I believed that I knew everything
that could make a difference. I had never heard of post-abortion sickness or
that there could be any emotional problems afterward.
The abortion procedure did not go well. The doctor was not satisfied with the
amount of "tissue" removed by the first suction and proceeded to do to a second
time. He was still not satisfied and advised me to go immediately for an ultra
sound to check for a tubule pregnancy. This was terribly stressful.
After the abortion I began suffering from depression, self-destructive
behavior, and severe blind rage. The relationship I was in began to deteriorate
rapidly. I did not connect these problems with the abortion when I tried to make
the connection I was told that I was crazy. I began to believe it. Finally one
day in the library, I picked up the book "Aborted Women". I felt like I had
found a long lost friend.
To deal with the abortion, I have been going to therapy. In seeking God's
forgiveness, I have been able to forgive those involved. My own forgiveness has
been slower and I still find myself wondering "what if".
The abortion has changed my life because it has been the most traumatic
experience of my life. It has been in my thoughts everyday. As I have grown in
the Lord and experienced the healing process I have begun to reach out and I am
involved in post-abortion counseling.