Like cattle

I consider it a privilege to share on this subject because my life is a testimony to the power and forgiveness of God. After years of rebellious teen years I accepted the Lord at age 18. I never followed thru with my commitment.

I became pregnant at age 21. I was raised in a strict Catholic home where you didn't talk about such things, much less come home in that condition. I was very ashamed and afraid. I never told anyone I was pregnant, I blindly found a clinic and made an appointment. (It's amazing how easy it is to silently kill children!)

I went to the clinic which was a very cold place. The thing that shocked me the most was after the abortion.

There was a room full of girls face down on cots, crying. There was at least 40 of us wall to wall. It reminded me of Jeremiah 31:15, A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping. Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted because her children are no more. I overheard a nurse say to another, "This one's been here 45 minutes, we need the cot." We were moved in and out of there like cattle.

Can I tell you that at that moment I felt anything but free. I felt far from being liberated. I wasn't boasting over my "choice". No Brothers and Sisters, I wasn't free -- I was ripped apart from the inside out.

I spent the weekend getting high and doing all the drugs I could to get rid of the pain and the memory of it. I tried to live life as normal as possible ignoring the abortion as if it would go away.

I never told anyone for 3 years, except the baby's father. He didn't believe me, and wanted to know where I got the money. Then he said I did the right thing.

I was so ashamed of it. To me it was the worst sin anyone could commit. No one could convince me it was a blob of tissue or fetal material. I was pregnant with a baby and I killed it.

Then I submitted my life back to the Lord, this time I knew it was for life. I also had to face what I had done.

I was laden with guilt. It's clever how Satan works, the same voice that whispers abortion, loudly accuses you of bloodshed when you go thru with it. Then I heard the verse in James that says:

Confess your sins one to another & pray for one another that you may be healed. It was the hardest thing I ever did.

I confessed it, got prayer, and thru time and more prayer finally came to the point where I felt forgiven. Then I had to forgive myself. The process was long and painful and for me took years.

Jeremiah 29:10 says: For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to give you a hope and a future.

I stand humbly before you today, able to boldly proclaim the truth about my abortion. I'm married with 3 beautiful children as a testimony to the healing redemptive power of God. I could have been sterile or plagued with many other problems because of the abortion, but God in His infinite mercy chose to forgive and heal & bless.

Don't be deceived by these loud, radical, angry women who are screaming for their rights and their choice. The only right we have, the only choice we need to make is to submit to a Holy God who loves us and is the answer to all our problems. God is the giver of life. Let's give only God the right to take life away

Thank you.