I felt I should suffer for what I did

My husband insisted "you better get rid of it". I talked to a doctor and he said we could say that I had measles and since I had already had a handicapped child I didn’t need another. I never gave it a thought that I was aborting a child.

The abortion was horrible. I was further along than we thought. I had what was called a hysterectomy because I had my tubes tied too. I didn't ask for anything for pain because I felt I should suffer for what I did.

The minute I woke up in the room I knew it was wrong. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't think about it. My husband has never talked about it or will probably never discuss it. Within 5 years of the abortion, I tried to commit suicide.  I was a mental wreck.

I have been "saved'' for about 20 yrs. and I have finally given it up to God but before this I felt guilty all the time and I tried not to think about it all these years and keep it a deep dark secret. I am still afraid that my daughter will find out.

The abortion has changed my life because it has complicated and made my situation worse. My mental health deteriorated and all I wanted to do was die. I am currently pro-life. I don’t want women to suffer as I did.