First, before I answer, please don't think badly of my parents in how they
raised us girls. I was raised by two very loving Christian (born again) parents,
who loved us very much and gave (taught) us good morals. I'm not proud of my
choice to abort (murder) my baby. I believe your parents can raise you right,
but we as children have free wills to make "our own" - bad - choices in life,
and it has no reflection on our parents or how they raised us.
I was 16 and my older sister was pregnant also. She was 21. I'll never forget
the look on my dad's face when she told him. Dad and mom just cried. No one knew
I was pregnant also. I couldn't do that to my parents. I was so scared and
confused. My boyfriend was worried what his parents would say. We went to the
same high school, so we told his counselor. I was to[o] afraid and ashamed to
tell my counselor because we were of the same faith. I only wish I would have
now. He could have helped me. Well his counselor arranged excuses for me to miss
classes so I could go to a local clinic to confirm my pregnancy. At the clinic
the girl tried to show me other ways to deal with my pregnancy (I was 2 months).
She told me about adoption and women that were just waiting for babies to love.
She gave me the number to call to make the appointment for the abortion but with
hesitation, almost as if she knew the outcome and how abortion destroys
emotionally. When I got back to school I was even more confused. I knew it was
wrong but I kept thinking about my dad. The school counselor told me I would
ruin my life if I kept the baby and abortion was the right thing to do. My
boyfriend was convinced so I made the selfish choice and made the call.
It was terrible!! My boyfriend drove me. I don't even know where in
the Valley it was. I kept my eyes down and cried almost the whole way. There
w[ere] about 15 of us. The girls were laughing and acting like nothing was
wrong. One girl bragged this was her 7th time! - told me not to worry
- it's easy. Ha. It was like no one cared. The tears kept falling. I couldn't
help it. Almost like crying for my unborn baby. In this office by the hospital
they (Doctor) checked us again. We had blood work and X-rays. The doctor told
me, "If you hemorrhage I'll need your parents' permission to stop the bleeding"
He said it could happen after I go home.
We had to enter the hospital from the back entrance. They put us on gurneys
(beds) and wheeled us one by one to the surgery room. I was told it would take
10 minutes to remove the "tissue." I was next. They forgot to close the door! I
was crying silently for my mom, when I heard this sound like a vacuum, so I
looked. I saw this tube fill with blood! I felt sick, then it was my turn.
When it was over I woke up not on my own. A nurse was calling my name. I
threw up and Oh the pain. It felt like my insides were torn. And the guilt. I
cried all the way home. My boyfriend didn't understand. He stopped at the park
for awhile so my red eyes would ease up. I couldn't show emotions at home. No
one knew. My boyfriend told me to stop crying, it was over. In his own way he
was dealing with it. When I got home I just told mom I was on my period and
didn't feel good. My boyfriend and I didn't talk about [it] until years later.
I felt guilty. Every time I look at my nephew I think about what my child
would be like. It's been 11 years. I feel like there's a soul tie. I talked to
My boyfriend about it after we'd gone our own ways. He said he feels bad, like
something is missing. I told my sister about what I did. She cried. (My parents
still don't know). A year after I had my abortion, my best friend got pregnant.
I talked her out of the abortion and she put her daughter up for adoption.
Abortion not only kills the innocent, but destroys emotionally.
I know the Lord has forgiven me and I'm working on forgiving myself. With all
the talk of abortion it opens a lot of old wounds. When I think about it, I cry
still. I know it's a part of healing. I'm a mother of a 5 1/2 year old daughter
and I pray she makes the right choices. I'm going to be open with her, when
she's older. The Word of God says to wait until marriage. He is so right, it
saves a lot of heartache.
My abortion helped me realize that fooling around before marriage is wrong.
It's something God sees as sacred between a man and wife. I admire the girls
that keep their babies (went to full term). It takes a lot of courage.
The doctors (not all doctors) and pro choice people make it sound like no big
deal - everything is OK. It's a lie! Abortion destroys lives. These women must
have no heart or conscience.
When a couple make (conceive) a child and use abortion as birth control, it's
murder, I think. These women say it's their body, but what about the little body
growing inside of them. What gives them the right to choose death for the