I felt a piece of me gone…

I was divorced from my first husband. I guess you could say I was sowing my oats. I wanted to do my own thing. I started drinking and going to bars. I became very close with an older man. That was when I had my first two; my second two w[ere] when I met my husband. The abortions were before we were married.

My first one was done in the hospital. When I woke up there was a crib beside me. I cried. The nurse couldn't understand. The next three were done in an abortion clinic. It was like an assembly line. Six of us were in the hall on beds at a time wheeled in and out so fast.

I had them when I missed by two weeks. So I guess I was only six week[s] along. I was told a[t] six weeks they wer[e]n't even formed. But after each one I felt a piece of me gone. It has been eight years and I still cr[y]. The guilt will never go away. It is one part of me I will hate forever. I remember praying for the Lord to give them back to me. Let me try again.

There [are] only four people that know about them, the two men and my two closest friends. Other than that I have told [no one]. I am so ashamed. My sister is involved with Pro Life groups. I won't even tell her. As bad[ly] as I want to be involved with Operation Rescue or one of the other groups, I feel I have no right.

After the abortions and after I turned my life back to our Lord I have beg[u]n stud[y]ing what abortion is actually doing. I have realized the importance of life, even the unborn. Maybe one day my fear will leave me and I can truly do something to help save these babies. I could never tell you on this short form how bad I found it all to be.