I didn’t want to have an abortion. My mother was very ill and I didn’t have any other close family. My boyfriend wouldn’t marry me. He pushed me toward an abortion. Considering my mother’s health, I knew she would not be able to help financially or physically.

The counseling was only pro-abortion. No information was given to me about pro-life choices or agencies at the abortion clinic. They also told me it wouldn’t hurt. It was extremely painful. I was not told anything about how this would affect me for the rest of my life.

I will mourn the loss of my child forever. Now, nine years later, I feel a tremendous loss and pain. I feel like a murderer. I’m afraid to let people know what I have done for fear they won’t accept me. It was the worst decision I made and I feel abortion clinics do not tell both sides. I regret this.

I went to a PACE bible study program. I found the program excellent. Meeting other women who have been through the same thing was comforting. I can’t change the past, but I hope this letter might help the future for other women.

I would have a beautiful 9-year-old child; I have no family -- my mother died. If my child was alive I’d at least have him.  I’m all alone.