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I tried to kill myself as punishment

How did you come to have the abortion(s) and who was involved?

I was 18 years old. I had been seeing a married man for a year. He wanted me to have his child. When I became pregnant, his wife had found out about us weeks before. He paid me $10,000 to have an abortion. My parents made me have the abortion. They threatened to disown me.

Were you given adequate information and counseling prior to the abortion(s)?

Only about the actual abortion itself; just physical aspects.

How would you describe your abortion(s)?

It was horrifying. It has been 11 years and I still cannot forgive myself. After the abortion, I tried to kill myself twice. I hate my parents for what they did and the man as well. I can't trust people. When I become angry, I have no control over myself. I feel I must punish myself and that God doesn't forgive me.

I tried to kill myself; to punish myself for what I did. I hated everyone. I can't trust anyone. It affects my marriage.

I pray to God a lot. I speak to my doctor. She has recommended that I seek counseling. I recently had twins. I became very depressed and had overwhelming feelings of guilt. I have tried to forget and forgive, but I can not. The feelings always surface and return at different times. I have been diagnosed as manic depressive. I have migraines and am currently on antidepressants and seeking counseling.

I am hateful and physical when angry. I become very depressed at times and I am married to a wonderful man who deserves to be trusted and loved for who he is instead of at times dealing with my emotions that have nothing to do with him.

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