If I could only have my child back!

I had been going with a guy that I was in love with for 3 years and the form of birth control we used was the pull-out method. He was 18 and I was 21. He said he'd leave me. I was head over heels about him.

The abortion was miserable. He did go with me and he paid for it. I wanted to go completely under but I had to stay awake for it. It hurt a lot. I would never go through it again. 

The abortion mentally affected me. It was six years ago. It still affects me to this day and it always will. As for him, I could not say, we broke up less than a year later, so I don't know how he feels.

I pray to help me deal with it. God helps me to deal with this misfortune. I joined the "Right to Life" and I have two beautiful children; that helps me deal with it.

I know I'll never get another abortion. The main thing that keeps me going is knowing that my child is now with God. If I could do over again what I did then I'd have a beautiful son or daughter. I am against abortion, especially as a means of birth control. If I could only have my child back!

I wish to remain anonymous. God knows who I am and I'll have to answer to him. I feel a great deal of remorse.