I Had No Idea About Alternatives...
When I was 14 years old I had
intercourse for the first time, and we used a condom. I became pregnant from
this encounter (I only had sex the one time) . I told my sister that I had
missed a period and she said that maybe it was because of stress and to wait a
few weeks to see if I was just late. After I missed my second period I was
worried that I might be pregnant but I never really thought about what I would
do if I was pregnant and then I started having morning sickness and terrible
headaches. The headaches were so bad that I would cry, it felt like my head was
exploding and I was sick every time I ate not just in the mornings. That is how
I came to tell my Mother I thought I was pregnant is I was crying with a
terrible headache and she asked what was wrong and I told her. My Mother took me
to our family
Doctor and he confirmed that I was pregnant, 8 to 12 weeks gestation.
He then told me where there was an
abortion clinic. He didn't ask any questions or offer any information about a
counseling center or anything. Although I was very mature for my age I was
really ignorant about such things. I knew how you got pregnant but I really
didn't think about it being a baby that early and I had no idea about
alternatives such as adoption or anything like that. And my Mother didn't know
what to say (she never even told me about menstruation or birth control, etc.)
so they left the decision up to me. I knew that my sister had an abortion
several years before and so I thought that would be the best thing to do. My
Mother and my sister took me the clinic in 1978.
When I got to the abortion
clinic they did a repeat pregnancy test and the "counselor" who was at a
desk in the small lobby where everyone could hear what we were saying asked
me if I wanted to be pregnant. Obviously I didn't want to be or I wouldn't
be at the abortion clinic, and I said no and then she said okay after you
have this done, you won't be pregnant any more (her words exactly). And that
was the extent of my so-called counseling.
Then all of the girls that were
there for abortions were called into a room and told to undress, we were all
pretty much taking our time and the nurse came in and said, "Hurry up and get
undressed we don't have all day!" Then I went to a room with an examining table
in it and was told to wait. After awhile they took me to another room where they
gave me a shot of anesthesia. After waiting awhile the doctor came in and
started the abortion. Either they didn't wait long enough for the shot to take
effect or it just hurts one. It felt like my insides were being ripped out of
me. I told them it hurt and they said it would be over in a minute. After it was
over they took me to the recovery room (a room with about twenty cots in it),
when everyone had time to recover. We were told the standard things but also
told were we could get birth control .
I have received healing for
what I have done through Jesus Christ and have forgiven myself but my mother
recently told me that she still feels guilty and bad about taking me for an
abortion and has had severe bouts of depression because of this. My sister
never has said how she feels about my abortion but she has told me that she
has a lot of guilt and other problems from her three abortions. She has many
symptoms of post abortion syndrome. I also did until I was healed, I was
promiscuous and had no self esteem and many other problems.
As I said, I received
healing through my Lord Savior and deliverer Jesus Christ.
I now am very involved in
the pro life movement, am a counselor for a crisis pregnancy center and
picket and do any thing else I am able to do if it will help any women to be
spared the tragedy of being exploited by abortion.
I also had a child when I
was seventeen years old and gave him up for adoption. I had seen a program
about private adoption and knew I would never abort a child again. I also
have two children of my own.