At age 17, just weeks after the new law, a high school
friend suggested abortion as the solution to my pregnancy. I knew nothing
about the procedure, the risks or the life inside me. I only knew no one
could find out I was pregnant. My boyfriend paid for it and a friend drove
me to a clinic. Great care was taken to hide all this from my parents. The
whole thing happened again at age 27.
In both cases, the experience was very cold. Clinic staff were cool and said
all the right things to convince you that you were doing the right thing. The 2nd
one in particular was uncomfortable and left me physically and mentally "out of
it". Though I had a friend with me each time, they were terrible lonely
experiences, shrouded with secrecy.
Immediately after the 2nd one, I cried uncontrollably for some
time and my normal activities were interrupted with bed rest. Within a year of
each one I became depressed seriously enough to require hospitalization the
first time and medication and counseling the second time. The hospitalization
followed a human development course where I learned what my aborted baby looked
like.
After years of guilt, shame, secrecy, emotional instability, I learned of the
loving forgiveness offered to me through Jesus Christ. At 33 I am finally able
to think about these events without tears and emotional pain.
Though I am confident I am forgiven for these abortions, I continue to be
deeply saddened about the loss of my precious children. I value life so much I
have difficulty expressing it but I am certainly motivated to see that others
are not deceived as I was into thinking I was removing unwanted tissue from my
body. I want others to know there are other options, less selfish options, and
that life begins at conception.
