The doctor crudely told me to quiet down.
My boyfriend and I were 19 years old. His mother said he
was too young and not ready to marry. I didn't want to lose him. She
said I should have an abortion (even though she didn't believe in them). He
left two months later. Planned Parenthood didn't tell me it was a baby.
"It's a mass of tissue", they said.
It was traumatic. It left me feeling doubtful, emotionally empty, introduced
me to feelings of denial. It was physically painful. It left me with a sad
feeling, a sad ending. The doctor crudely told me to quiet down. The people
(except the woman who held my hand) were cold and unfeeling.
My abortion left me in a long state of denial. I would always advise others
against doing it. I count the years of my unborn child. I would always avoid the
subject.
I went to a Crisis Pregnancy Center to volunteer. I went through their
post-abortion Bible study and now do volunteer work for them and support
pro-life movements. All these help me not to cry anymore at the thought of the
subject.
The children I do have are more precious to me. One of the purposes of my
life is to stay active in helping other women to not have an abortion - to not
put their baby and themselves through that. It has helped me learn the true
meaning of selfishness.
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