I felt dirty

I was 20 yrs old - single in college and was afraid tell my Mother. I didn't feel as though I had a choice. I didn't know I couldn't legally get an abortion until a "friend" told me. The doctor said it was a blob of tissue and not a baby yet. My boyfriend at the time did not support me in anyway.

The abortion itself was not at all that bad except for the fact I felt dirty. The doctor only did abortions at night and I had to go in the back door. He gave me drugs that got me high enough that it numbed my mind to what was happening.

It changed my entire life. For awhile I got much heavier into drugs and alcohol. I returned to an overbearing and domineering previous boyfriend and later married him. We eventually divorced after 10 years. The guilt was tremendous.

I turned to the Lord and asked and received forgiveness. I forgave the boyfriend who abandoned me. He had suffered from the abortion as well. He felt tremendous relief after he received my forgiveness. I don't think I ever would have recovered without Jesus.

I am much closer to God. I am more feeling and not as judgmental. I now work at a crisis pregnancy center. These are the positive things that have come form the healing of the abortion. See above about negative things.