I feel it was something out of a nightmare.
I choose only to write about the second of the two
abortions I had. I was involved with a guy who goes to AA meetings. It was
at the start of the relationship. I found out before I was pregnant that his
feelings weren't "for" me. Because I didn't have a relationship established
with him, I went and had the abortion.
I can best describe my abortion as very sad because I wanted to give birth to
the baby. I feel it was something out of a nightmare. They did not support me
emotionally and I almost view it that I got myself pregnant because he didn't do
what I needed him to do.
My abortion affected me because I feel cheated and I didn't get the support I
was hoping to find in my family and the father. I have deep feelings of
resentment against my family for not supporting me to have the baby and I have
anger and resentment toward the father of the baby.
I've talked out my feelings with numerous people to help deal with what I've
done. I just started going to a support group which I feel is what I need. With
just one meeting I feel better because I was with people who understand my hurt.
It's changed my life. Another piece of my soul has been chipped away at. I
feel it has many effects on how I feel about myself and other people. My
conscience has been injured and part of how I feel for others is forever gone
because "others" were not there for me to encourage me to have my baby.