I remember hearing the garbage disposal.
I was a freshman in college and I became sexually active
with my boyfriend. Soon afterwards I became pregnant and was ashamed. To me
at that time abortion was the only way out. No one knew other than my
boyfriend and his best friend who lent us the money and took us to the
I can't remember the pain; I remember the nurse holding my hand and keeping
me talking the whole time. The doctor didn't say much and he was very young. I
remember hearing the garbage disposal. The abortion was done very quickly.
It made me and my boyfriend feel cheap, ashamed, dirty and guilty. It caused
me to have nightmares that lasted for years. I was preoccupied with death. It
caused me to respect my boyfriend and husband less and this caused problems with
I asked God to forgive me; I also got involved in a Crisis Pregnancy
Counseling Center and also in working out my pain through counseling with other
woman with Post Abortion Syndrome.
I have a baby in heaven that would be 14 years old. It has made me realize
how much I would like to see her. It has effected my live daughters because they
know what I did. The abortion made my life for the longest time unmeaningful and
the guilt was always there.