I remember hearing the garbage disposal.

I was a freshman in college and I became sexually active with my boyfriend. Soon afterwards I became pregnant and was ashamed. To me at that time abortion was the only way out. No one knew other than my boyfriend and his best friend who lent us the money and took us to the clinic.

I can't remember the pain; I remember the nurse holding my hand and keeping me talking the whole time. The doctor didn't say much and he was very young. I remember hearing the garbage disposal. The abortion was done very quickly.

It made me and my boyfriend feel cheap, ashamed, dirty and guilty. It caused me to have nightmares that lasted for years. I was preoccupied with death. It caused me to respect my boyfriend and husband less and this caused problems with our marriage.

I asked God to forgive me; I also got involved in a Crisis Pregnancy Counseling Center and also in working out my pain through counseling with other woman with Post Abortion Syndrome.

I have a baby in heaven that would be 14 years old. It has made me realize how much I would like to see her. It has effected my live daughters because they know what I did. The abortion made my life for the longest time unmeaningful and the guilt was always there.