I Was Afraid I Would be stuck...

I was married, my husband and I were having problems I became pregnant. My mother stayed in an abusive relationship with my father "for us 7 children" and I was afraid I would be stuck too .

My husband consented to the abortion at my insistence. It was very strange. A woman I had graduated with from high school was a nurse at the hospital where I had my abortion. I saw her and wanted to change my mind. Nobody was supposed "know" the doctor had her come talk to me to assure me that whatever happened it was "confidential"

My husband and I , already having problems, divorced. Interestingly enough, my ex- husband has never had children of his own, and neither have I. I had a hysterectomy when I was 33 years old.. It was hard to deal with when I realized that I had aborted the only child I would ever bear.

I had always been a teetotaler but after my husband and I divorced I started having a drinking problem. I tried to hide my damaged emotions in alcohol and relationships. I was running. Finally I ran to Jesus Christ who healed me not only from my abortion but the bitter root I had against my father - which was a contributing factor in my abortion. I thought that all I had to deal with was my friends and family having children --- now I am getting to the age where it is grandchildren I realize I will never have. There is an advertisement I have seen which to me says a lot: a family portrait with a person ripped out of the picture - the caption saying something to the effect that it is a far reaching decision, a lifetime