I am in the psychiatric ward now!
My doctor told me to [have the abortion]. I have a sickle cell trait; also my
husband. I've had a child that was born "tail" first and it died. The second
child was born. She died. She lived to be two years old with sickle cell disease
- didn't know she had it. The third child came with no trace of the sickle cell.
Aborted the fourth.
I can't remember - I've blocked it out some. I was put to sleep in a
hospital. D & C and Abortion at the same time.
It makes me turn the T.V. station when I see the tiny fetus, knowing my Baby
could feel the pain. I see Bill Bairds and that hurts. A certain
commercial gets me, when it says the baby sucks its thumb in the mother's womb.
I was 28 years old. I am 41 now.
I haven't dealt with it. Guilt is a B. But I've ask[ed] God to forgive me for
having my child killed. You see, I didn't know what I know now.
That was so so wrong. I am in the psychiatric ward now!
I felt maybe, just maybe if they only knew what I've felt they wouldn't do
it. I am against abortion. I didn't know it back then. I pray to God for it to
STOP. The guilt turn[ed] to a recovering drug addict.
. . . I'LL TELL THE WORLD.