I am in the psychiatric ward now!

My doctor told me to [have the abortion]. I have a sickle cell trait; also my husband. I've had a child that was born "tail" first and it died. The second child was born. She died. She lived to be two years old with sickle cell disease - didn't know she had it. The third child came with no trace of the sickle cell. Aborted the fourth.

I can't remember - I've blocked it out some. I was put to sleep in a hospital. D & C and Abortion at the same time.

It makes me turn the T.V. station when I see the tiny fetus, knowing my Baby could feel the pain. I see Bill Bairds and that hurts. A certain commercial gets me, when it says the baby sucks its thumb in the mother's womb. I was 28 years old. I am 41 now.

I haven't dealt with it. Guilt is a B. But I've ask[ed] God to forgive me for having my child killed. You see, I didn't know what I know now. That was so so wrong. I am in the psychiatric ward now!

I felt maybe, just maybe if they only knew what I've felt they wouldn't do it. I am against abortion. I didn't know it back then. I pray to God for it to STOP. The guilt turn[ed] to a recovering drug addict.

. . . I'LL TELL THE WORLD.