I had a sense of doom

I had ended a severely dysfunctional relationship with a man who had mental/emotional problems a year earlier. I ran into him again a year later, two weeks after the death of my grandmother. I was very depressed, lonely, empty, numb. We saw each other for about six weeks. A month after I ended it, I found out I was pregnant and had chymidia. I had been on three different medications at the time.

My gynecologist performed it under general anesthesia in the operating room of a large hospital. I had very little pain afterwards.

I didn't tell anyone close to me. I had a sense of doom that I had done a terrible thing and was probably going to hell because of it. I experienced a profound sense of defeat, that Satan had been triumphant. I took on a very cynical attitude about life. My ability to trust people diminished, and I found I didn't care about things as much.

I got counseling, but the real healing and restoration to my self worth has been through Project Rachel.

I think I'm less likely to be judgmental and put others down for making major life mistakes. I also have become more assertive, less likely to let others impose their will on me.