It was the most disturbing experience of my life…
My boyfriend and I, while not high schoolers, were very naive (and myself
totally inexperienced) about sex and birth control. While my parents were very
informative and open about sexuality, I never took advantage of their
willingness to talk and wasn't more responsible with my body as a result. We
didn't use birth control and I never planned to have a baby. I knew immediately
what I'd do.
There was never a doubt in my mind what I was going to do. I did not
want to have a baby and although my boyfriend would've done anything I wanted,
he was relieved at my decision. The abortion involved a hospital stay several
hours from my home because I was 18 weeks along. While I didn't hesitate in
making the decision, the procedure was real and involved what seemed like
actually giving birth. It was the most disturbing experience of my life.
… I would never wish my experience on anyone and the pain I suffered
emotionally…. We are now married and seldom discuss the issue. We look forward
to the day we can "do it the right way."
While I had girlfriends who'd been through abortions, I only told one about
the experience, but never discussed how it affected us emotionally. My boyfriend
(now husband) and I didn't even mention the experience for months afterward. I
never sought out support groups, I guess because of the guilt I feel…