I was 23 and unwed, not yet a Christian and I got
pregnant by my longtime boyfriend. When I told him, his response was "You're
not going to keep it are you?" There was never any discussion about any
other options, we didn't tell anyone else and I went ahead with the
abortion.
I was given an internal exam, told I was seven weeks pregnant, given a
general anesthetic that made me have terrible hallucinations and I woke up to
the sound of my own screams - there was no pre- or post-abortion counseling at
all.
My boyfriend and I eventually broke up and I have been married to my husband
now for 10 years. Until about 6 months ago, I had hardly ever thought about my
abortion but I have had problems with being overweight and depression and just
recently have begun to deal with the guilt and the realization of what I have
done.
I have confessed it to my priest and called Project Rachel, but have not been
contacted by them yet, and I am praying daily for all the pre-born that have
been aborted, the abortionist and the mothers who make the decision to abort.
I think that it has made me very sensitive to this issue. The grief and guilt
I feel about having killed my baby is something I would want others to know
about before they take that terrible step. I am a long way from being healed,
but I know the Lord will do it.
