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I woke up to the sound of my own screams

I was 23 and unwed, not yet a Christian and I got pregnant by my longtime boyfriend. When I told him, his response was "You're not going to keep it are you?" There was never any discussion about any other options, we didn't tell anyone else and I went ahead with the abortion.

I was given an internal exam, told I was seven weeks pregnant, given a general anesthetic that made me have terrible hallucinations and I woke up to the sound of my own screams - there was no pre- or post-abortion counseling at all.

My boyfriend and I eventually broke up and I have been married to my husband now for 10 years. Until about 6 months ago, I had hardly ever thought about my abortion but I have had problems with being overweight and depression and just recently have begun to deal with the guilt and the realization of what I have done.

I have confessed it to my priest and called Project Rachel, but have not been contacted by them yet, and I am praying daily for all the pre-born that have been aborted, the abortionist and the mothers who make the decision to abort.

I think that it has made me very sensitive to this issue. The grief and guilt I feel about having killed my baby is something I would want others to know about before they take that terrible step. I am a long way from being healed, but I know the Lord will do it.

Priests for Life
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