I'll always want children
I found myself involved in a sexual relation [with a] boyfriend in school. He
was not even made aware that I was pregnant until after [the] abortion. We had
broken up. My parents were there and helped me. My parents didn't force me to
have an abortion, but I just didn't know there was anything else to do.
I can't remember it happening. But I just wish I would of been aware there
were other options (15 years ago). I was 18 years old. No one ever explain[ed]
there were other options.
It was always a sore subject when someone mentioned abortion. My sexual life
has become better now that I feel like I am forgiven by God and myself. Being
able to forgive myself took a while to be able to do. Realizing the Lord forgave
me I was able to forgive myself.
With the Lord's forgiveness I have been able to forgive myself. I'm starting
into counseling, in hopes that maybe I'll have the chance to help others.
I'll always wonder about the baby - was it a boy or a girl. I'll always hurt
for that baby. I'll always want children (babies). The Lord has blessed [me]
with twins. I look at them through different eyes now.