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I murdered a part of myself 

My boyfriend and I had just started our relationship and I was in a way pressured into doing the abortion. Although I'm against abortions, I started rationalizing that it was best. I couldn’t support 2 children and we were unmarried. My boyfriend and I were both involved.

It was pretty traumatic going through the actual procedure. I cried within myself and wanted to stop everything but because of the drug they gave me, I felt like I couldn't. After, I felt like I murdered a part of myself and felt guilt and shame for weeks.

It made me realize that the baby had no right to die. And as for others, they were of help in making me realize I was and am forgiven.

I think the most thing that helped me deal with it was my sister telling me that God forgives me and that baby is in heaven with him. That was the biggest help.

I am pregnant now again (off the pill) and no matter what my sins have been, I am now trying to live my life for Jesus and refused to give this baby up. It took awhile and my boyfriend and I have a long way to go but we now are trying to make things right with the Lord and this baby will be a blessing to us.

I know there probably isn't enough information about pregnancies after an abortion. The pregnancy that I am in right now has been quite eventful. I had no problems with my first pregnancy. Everything went fine. Then I had the abortion, now I'm pregnant again. I lost 20 pounds in the first trimester, due to "all day" sickness. Now I've come up with what they thought was a hernia, now they say its not and think it’s a torn ligament on the right side of my pelvic bone just under my tummy.

Granted, no pregnancies are alike but I had no problems before. Not even with the one I terminated. (I was 8 weeks). I just thought if you were doing studies on pregnancies or help, I would be glad to help in any way as I know there are people out there who are going to or have made the mistake of abortion.

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