I elected to abort my first and only baby at age 28, (197-) after a
separation from my husband. I was self-supporting, poor with no marketable
skills. I had no friends and to this day I never told my own mother. I made a
deal with myself that if I could abort this baby, then I would never carry a
baby again - my womb would be "defiled" - I was, at that time I thought,
"prepared" to make such an awful decision. The counselor at Planned Parenthood
told me I was carrying a "living" 8 weeks baby. That I would be killing it - but
I had come to terms with myself. My punishment was going to be "meted" out to me
the very next week when I had a bilateral tubal ligation - all paid for by
The procedure was assembly line, uncaring, fast, rough, and loud.
The shame I felt was ungodly - I did not know the Lord at that time.
That shame made me make a bad deal. When I became a Christian I felt so much
grief for my baby, who I know I will meet in heaven, and for all the babies
killed in this brutal way.
I have become active in teaching others about abortion - not from a
motivation of restitution, but of compassion and caring in a "storge" type of
love - the kind that won't let people hurt themselves.
It will always remind me of my fallen state - that I will never attain
"sainthood" on the earth.
I was involved as a professional nurse inadvertently with an abortion in a L
& D unit in the hospital where I have worked for ten years. "My" patient was
[about] 24 weeks pregnant with SROM. One of our docs talked her and her husband
into aborting for fear of "compression deformities" if she carried. They were
very upset about it and after prostin & pitocin, she delivered a baby girl who
appeared to be dead to me. Since the parents had already expressed a desire not
to bond with her - I sent the baby out with a resident to the work room. I was
informed 20-30 minutes later the baby was still trying to breathe. Everyone
became seemingly oblivious to this pathetic situation - the pediatrician had
already stated "don't bring it to me," and yet "it" wasn't ready for the morgue
I almost got fired. A ward clerk quit shortly thereafter. I became very
callous to docs.
Activity! I am a pro-life lobbyist and though I work with "pro-choice"
nurses, I talk [of] abortion as killing.
I am determined to be heard! I also support a CPC in town financially.