I would give anything to go back

I was 17 when I had my first abortion and my mother was the one encouraging it. I was 21 with my second. I was married but had no use for children. I was 22 with my third and final. I was living with a man who was married. I was divorced and it was a hard decision but I did it with his help.

All were suction and very painful. I went to Planned Parenthood for each one and was not given any help, hope or encouragement, but to abort. They were all done in an Ob/Gyn office.

I was already wild before them because of my parents' divorce. I was extremely promiscuous, drug and alcohol abusive. Had no concern but for myself and had no meaningful relationships with males or females.

I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior in 1981 at a Billy Graham crusade. That conversion completely opened my eyes, I was truly blinded before. Ever since I have been a staunch pro-lifer.

I remember them, but the pain is gone. I would give anything to go back and seek out better counseling. I had no idea there was any help for me. I have only been allowed to keep one of my children and went through pain for years praying for more, but God said no. I feel I am a terrible mother now to my one son.