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I hated the procedure

I had a D & C abortion in 1971 at a hospital. My baby was 11 weeks old. I was 24 years old and single.

I was afraid, alone and didn't want my parents to know I was pregnant. I didn't consider anything but abortion. The first person who knew I was pregnant was the doctor who did the pregnancy test. I told him I would probably have an abortion and he never said anything to me one way or the other. I walked out of his office dazed by the news. How I wish he would have given me alternatives. Advice from a friend was abortion. My boyfriend stayed neutral. I hitch-hiked to the hospital myself and arranged to have friends pick me up. I spent the afternoon on their couch, then they took me home.

At the hospital, I remember a lady asking me if I was sure this is what I wanted and I said yes. Except for the abortion itself, that's all I remember. While waiting on the stretcher, I wanted to jump off and run but was too afraid. I was wheeled in, was given an injection in my arm but remained awake. A nurse stood by my side and a nameless, faceless abortionist ended the life of my baby. I hated the procedure. It hurt some but mostly the position I had to be in was uncomfortable. I was wheeled to another room. Shortly after, a nurse took me for a walk and I soon left. About a week later I developed a severe pelvic infection. I never experienced such pain in my life. I was treated at an emergency room. To this day I don't know what medication I was given, but it resolved the infection.

Then I proceeded to get my life back to normal. I was relieved it was over. It should never have happened anyway, so I pretended it didn't. I buried the pregnancy and the abortion and forgot about it for years. My boyfriend did not seem to be affected by it much, except he was nice to me while I was pregnant and pushed me down when it was over. I told only the friend who took me to E.R. and she helped me as much as she could.

Nine years later at the age of 33, I was about to get married. I thought it fair to tell my husband-to-be about the abortion. He told me it was in my past. I was a Christian by then. He became involved in the Right to Life movement and continually became more involved in pro-life activity. As I read and came to know the truth about abortion, I have had to face it and deal with it. Admitting it and being sorry is part of dealing with it. I have committed a grave sin and since I converted to Catholicism a few years ago, I have the privilege of the Sacrament of Confession. Only through God's forgiveness can there be healing. There is grief. I don't know if that ever goes away. When I've held my newborn babies, I cry and hurt for the one that is gone. God, in His mercy, has been so good to me. He's given me 2 boys…and I would be very happy to be blessed with more.

It is hard to say how the abortion changed my life as I don't know what it would be like if I didn't have it. God has used it in a positive way - to make me more determined to fight against abortion and not to be afraid to speak out when necessary. I have volunteered for 2 years at a pro life crises center and I can speak to the mothers as one who has been there. I may be able to see more clearly that my children are gifts and life is so precious. We are truly "fearfully and wonderfully made" as the psalmist says.

Priests for Life
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