The attendant called it the "dis-assembly line…"

A neighbor told me about getting an abortion while I was on welfare. Welfare paid for it. My husband was aware of the decision. We had five children and I didn't think we could support another one.

I went to a hospital in Beverly Hills. I was asleep at the time of the procedure. The attendant that wheeled me into the surgical room called it the dis-assembly line - I'll never forget that. I asked the man I saw before the abortion if it was really alive at the time about 2 1/2 months. He said that was something he didn't go into.

No one will ever know but me and my x-husband. The shame I carry will always be with me. I have five children. I chose to kill one of their brothers and sisters - I am shaking now as I write this - my tears will never undo what I did.

I became a Catholic and work with Pro Life groups. I know I am forgiven - but I will never forgive myself. I think if I heard the message given out now by Pro Lifers I wouldn't have had the abortion - a picketer would have stopped me.

I live every day with the knowledge that I took an innocent life. I always shove it away. I would go crazy if I let myself think - This is the first time I have thought this long about it. My torment is good. I deserve it. I wish I had pain during the abortion. I got off too easy.