I had the abortion for convenience...
I was unmarried and living with my boyfriend when I got pregnant. His parents
did not know we were living together and I decided against marriage at the time,
although my boyfriend said we could get married. Ironically we married 4 months
after the abortion and have been married for 10 years. I had the abortion for
convenience and to save face for not "having to get married because I was
pregnant."
They mentioned some risks (which I was surprised at). They also tried to
counsel but it was very poor counseling. The counselor decided after about a
minute that I truly did want an abortion and did not try to convince me of any
other options. I had minimal cramps afterward.
It wasn't until 3 years after the abortion (when I became a Christian and
having just experienced a current pregnancy and delivery) that [I realized] what
I had done earlier was murder. I cried a lot, thought about my baby a lot, mood
swings, typical PAS. It's been 10 years and only through the forgiveness and
grace of God can I talk about it. I will forever be sorry for my decision to
abort.
My husband has not been affected as I have, although he, too, now believes
abortion is wrong. The only relief from the grief comes from God and over a
period of time he has helped me grow to help me forgive myself. I know he
already has. I am also involved in Pro-Life organizations and work at CPC to
counsel girls who are in the same position I was once in.
I will forever grieve for the child that I killed. I have an ache in my heart
for that child and all the others who have been killed. I think God used the
horrible reality of abortion to draw me to him and show me faith.
|