I had a positive pregnancy test two days before I went to have a tubal ligation. This would have been my 6^th child and I felt I couldn't handle all the responsibilities of a newborn, toddler, and preschooler under feet.

(The abortion was) horrible, degrading, shameful. One of the most shaming things I have had to go through in my lifetime. One of the most saddest days in my life knowing I was ending a new life who hardly had a chance to live yet.

I gained 30 lbs. in 8 months. I was very depressed and detached from my present children and could not let go of the actual aborting day - all the events - for many months afterward.

I sought out help from a woman who had experience with post- abortion issues. Met with her one on one for 6 months, then with a group she put together for 8 weeks with others who shared my experience.

It changed my life by allowing me to look deeper into myself and understand what I held of value in my life - motherhood - that I wouldn't have lost myself if I had chosen to keep my child - that I would have had another one to love and nurture.