I approached my ex-husband and told him what I was doing. I asked him if he
would take part in this case study project and he said he would. I was shocked
at some of his replies. Most of them, I understood, were answers a man would
give. But the part about us dating for a year threw me off -- we had only dated
I had told my ex-husband I was confessing the abortion, that I had become a
big part of "Open Arms" and wanted to begin volunteer work at the crisis
pregnancy center. I wanted him to know in case he heard from some one else since
we both know so many people in this city.
I explained to him that this was not an effort to "blame" him, but that I was
finished carrying full responsibility, blame, and grief. I asked for his help
and/or support in my healing. I told him that with or without him, I would forge
At first he seemed stubborn and defensive. But he did not want to talk with
my daughter about it. We all met together, prayed, cried as we tried to explain
our mistake. I was shocked when he said he wanted to be there if I told her. I
explained that I already had, but I felt it important that all three of us talk
about the other family member we will never see. So, since then things seem to
be a little better. I'm still working through so much of my anger and rage about
a lot of things.
I've been amazed at the overwhelming support I've received from my sister and
My ex-husband, he's also brought my daughter to a seminar concerning abortion
geared to pre-teens. I was SO excited for both of them. My daughter came back
talking a mile a minute. He seemed much more closed and defensive.
When I first confessed my abortion I felt all bitterness, pain, anguish,
rage, fear, and depression would vanish.
That has not been the case. The Lord is still working with me.