I was unmarried and already had one child out of wedlock. I had just entered nursing school and felt I couldn't face this setback and humiliation so I aborted myself. I felt scared, trapped, and determined.

It was done primarily through intense concentration (3 hours with ritual use of pennyroyal tea and running until I couldn't run anymore), crying as I ran, because I felt so bad after I knew I had succeeded. because at that instant the baby died I knew I had made a mistake.

I would have undone it if I could have, I felt so deeply and painfully the awful truth of what I had done. I felt the sadness and rejection, felt by the child with whom I communicated. (I know this probably sounds fantastic but I assure you I am mentally normal and this kind of thing is possible when you are terrified and determined).

I don't feel there is anything I can do. That child is gone and I am very sorry. I'm sure God has forgiven me but nothing can bring that child back. Working in the Pro-Life movement helps.

It will be a life long regret I'll have to live with. I can only hope I'll be reunited with that child in heaven. Going through that has helped me be more sensitive to why it's wrong and also understand better why a woman does such a thing. The feeling of being trapped and scared is so powerful it leads you astray.