Made me see that it was murder
I got pregnant by a married man. I didn’t want the pregnancy to ruin my
military career. I was a so-called good girl. No one knew I was a run around. I
called Planned Parenthood. They referred me to a clinic in 1985. An LPN and
doctor were involved. I was single and didn’t want anyone to know I was
Quick, hurt, gross. During the procedure, changed my mind but it was too
late. I didn’t have any counseling as to having the baby adopted before the
Emotional wreck I became. My job performance went down because inside I knew
I had committed murder even though it was legal. Even….after the abortion I felt
guilty and it affected my sex life with my husband. I didn’t feel I was worthy
of having pleasure sexually because I had been responsible for having premarital
sex and getting pregnant and then killing the child.
Communicated the sin to my fiancée. I had the abortion in March was engaged
in September. The child that could have been was not my fiancée’s child. I found
it helpful to confess my sin before God and find forgiveness in Jesus. I
attended church and surrounded myself with Christians. It took 5 years to get
over the guilt I felt. I discussed my abortion with close friends who were
Christian. Helped me realize we all are sinners, repent and not do it again. I
also got involved in church with helping other women with their pregnancy by
offering financial and spiritual help.
Made me see that it was murder. Something I can never change. I often wonder
what the child looks like or could have been. A part of my life I’ll never
regain is gone. It ruined my military career because of this mental anguish. My
performance went down.