The pain of a forced abortion
Sat Aug 7 15:09:05 1999
I certainly feel your pain. I went through the same thing. I am 45 years old
now, but, when my parents forced an abortion on me, I was only 15 1/2. I was
almost 5 months along. I was engaged to be married to the boy who was the
father. I never had sex until him and he was also a virgin at age 18. Well, I
was thrilled about having the baby. I was already showing and very proud of it
too. My parents are strict Italians and did not think a young unmarried girl of
my age should be having a baby. They yelled at me and said terrible things about
me, how shameful it was, and what would the neighbors think, and so on and so
on. My mother even threatened to punch me in the stomach if I tried to keep the
Now remember, this was back in 1969. There were very few places for a girl in
my situation to turn to for help. And I didn't know of any places I could go. I
couldn't run away. Where would I run to? My fiancé was in boot camp and he
couldn't get out to take me away from my parents, so they drug me into the
hospital and gave me that abortion.
I cried and cried. I had nightmares for years after that. I would dream I
would take out a gun and shoot my baby in the head, like you, I was also a big
mess. Not only did I have emotional problems from the abortion, but I got an
infection in my pelvic region, which caused my tubes to crimp up with adhesions.
I was ruined for life. I cannot have children. I had two ectopic pregnancies,
which they had to remove both tubes.
And all I ever wanted was to be a mother. That was now over, forever. I ended
up feeling that I wasn't a woman. I felt I had no reason to live. I became a
heroin addict and really messed my life up good! I caught a disease from the
addiction called hepatitis C, which is incurable and eventually leads to
cirrhosis of the liver. Plus, I have deep seeded emotional scares that will
NEVER leave me. I will always feel somewhat guilty. I should have ran away. I
should have done something!!
The reason I am telling you all this, is because, I want to spare you the agony
that I went through. It took me 30 years to figure out that there is only one
cure for the pain of abortion…...... and that was going back to believing in
God! I'm not saying that means that you should believe like me, but, I'm saying
for myself, it was my only hope of ever being a normal person again. I quit
drugs, I go to church, I found a nice man who loves me and I know that my babies
are in heaven with Jesus and Mary. I will see them in the end. I had to learn to
forgive my parents for what they did and to forgive myself. I pray everyday of
my life now. I thank God that I at least didn't get AIDS. He has given me the
opportunity to repent for my sins and start over with the hope of going home
when I die. My real home, with our lord.
If you are Catholic, go to confession. God is so forgiving and merciful. He
loves you and he knows that it wasn't your desire to have an abortion. I would
pray that he has mercy on your parents. You have suffered enough now. Please,
forgive yourself and try to keep from punishing yourself. Leave it in the hands
of God. I hope this letter helps you.
Here are some numbers you can call for more help:
The Nurturing Network: 1-800-TNN-4mom
National Life Center: 1-800-848-love
Several Sources Foundation: 1-800-no-abort
American Crisis Pregnancy Helpline: 1-800-67-baby-6
Your sister in Christ,
"People for Life"
Post-Abortion Facts, Reconciliation and