Something Inside of Me Had Died

Hi, my name is Linda Menon.  I’m from Edmonton, Alberta. 

When I was a young girl, I, too, had a dream.  I had a dream that by the time I was 22 years old, I wanted to married, and I wanted to have my family intact.  I believed that I would have two or three children, and that my life would just be almost like it is in the movies. 

Unfortunately, Hollywood isn’t true.  And as I grew through high school and listened to what was happening in the early seventies with regard to the abortion – being legalized.  I came to a place in my life where I was sexually active before marriage, and I, too, was faced with an unplanned pregnancy.  I chose abortion with a great deal of pressure in my life from my parents, from particularly my mum who was just responding out of shame and just absolute devastation that this would happen to “her baby.” 

And I just want to say that that sparked such a change in my life.  I had this dream that I would be living the fairy-tale life and when I made the decision to abort, my life took a turn that I could never turn back and fix myself.  When you go into the abortion clinics, what they will tell you is this is a painless, simple procedure; it will be over with, and then you can go back home, and you can start your life all over again, where you left off.  Ladies and gentlemen, that is a lie, a lie straight from hell, because it is not the truth.  Once I had my abortion, when I woke up from the first procedure, I viewed myself differently.  Something inside of me had died; I couldn’t articulate it at the time, but it was a reality. 

And I lived the rest of my life until the time I was 35 years old in a place of self-loathing, depression, discouragement.  Like many of the other ladies that you’ve heard from this afternoon, I, too, abused alcohol.  I was involved in a promiscuous lifestyle.  Many of the women who choose abortion, they go on to choose subsequent abortions.  Myself, I chose two more abortions after the first one. 

I want to tell you today that I regret all of those, and I did them in a place of ignorance, yet something deep inside me knew that what I was doing was not right.  I can recall being in situation where I would be, as Georgette has just described, faced with a Mother’s Day.  I would go into a depression that was so deep that my husband would not understand what was wrong with me.  I could not talk; I would not go anywhere. 

If I was in situations where through, say, my career – I had a wonderful career in the airline industry, and I would be invited to baby showers.  This was horrific for me, to be invited to a baby shower.  I just wanted to run a million miles away.  Going through a department store, like The Bay or any Sears, I would avoid the baby department, because if I happened on them, unawares, not know exactly where it was, if was in a store I was not familiar with, I would stand there in silence and almost in shock because I couldn’t stand to look at the things that were confronting me – like the pacifiers and the diapers and all of these things.  When I would be confronted with a pregnant woman, whenever I had to go to a social situation where there was a lady that was obviously pregnant and about to bear her child, I would hear a voice in my head that would constantly say, “You are not worthy.  You are not a nurturer.  You are a murderer.”  And it would send me into such a tailspin.  And I lived my life for years this way.

Until, thankfully, one day, I came to a place where I found the forgiveness of God.  He came into my life, and He restored my self-worth, He restored my dignity, He forgave me for my sins. And through the walk that I have had with Him, He graciously led me to some wonderful ladies at a pregnancy-counseling center.  And I just want to put in a plug right now for pregnancy-counseling centers all across the nation of Canada and the United States.  I want to put in a plug for the Carenet people, for the Focus on the Family people, for all those people out there – Dr. Dobson, thank you for getting out there and sharing that this is a worthy cause to be involved in. We are women that are out there that are hurting. 

The pregnancy care – counseling center in Edmonton, a lovely lady by the name of Judy Pierce loved me and nurtured me and told me that I was worth it.  And she brought me to a place where I was able to go through post-abortion counseling.  I didn’t know what that was at the time, but literally, it was the tool that God used to bring me back to a place where I could, for the first time in my life, embrace the Scripture that says, “He has come, that we would have life, and have it more abundant.”  They led me through this wonderful, wonderful healing. 

And today, I have a new dream.  My new dream is to stand in positions like this before the nation, before the people of this country, and speak out on behalf of those children that have been lost, the ones that their blood is crying out from the streets for justice.  And I just ask everyone that’s here, everyone that’s listening, everyone that hears this message at anytime in the future: do not take the life of your children.  For the women that are out there, conceiving, and are confused, there is help, there is a better solution for this problem than to terminate the life of your child.  And for the women that have gone through it, I just want to encourage every one of you.  I don’t care if you’re on the pro-choice side or the pro-life side.  I want to tell you that God loves you; He wants to extend His Hand to you in mercy and grace and forgiveness.  And He wants to bring you to a place of healing.  And I just want to give all the glory to God for the dream that He is going to fulfill in my life and in the lives of the women here on the dais.  Thank you.