I am Cassie. At the tender age of 15 I became pregnant. I hid it for a long time, just hoping it would go away. A 16-week abortion was booked and the day before, I was nervous; I couldn’t do it. I cancelled the abortion. I kept him and now I have my lovely son Kai. Then at 17, I became pregnant again. I was terrified. How could I be so silly? A termination was booked immediately. How would I cope? My mother thought it was for the best, along with others, and at the time so did I. People make you believe there is nothing wrong with aborting a baby but it is wrong. It’s playing God and we are not God. I was 9 weeks this time and had no idea how developed my child was. They should make you watch videos of some sort before you do it, showing you what the baby looks like.
My inner voice nagged me as we drove there. There was another girl, the same age as me, crying as we waited. All was silent. It was the most awful atmosphere. My name was called. I saw a nurse. She could see that deep within, this was not what I wanted. I should have opted out there and then but I forced myself to do it. I thought I had to have an abortion because I was too young to have another child. I would never cope.I opened my eyes. My baby was gone. Immediately after the abortion a surge of guilt hit me like bomb. I sat in another room with all the other babyless moms and I sobbed. What had I done? As time went on the guilt got stronger. I’ll go to hell for this, I thought. I would do anything to have my baby back. I haven’t found help or forgiveness yet. I hate myself for what I have done.
I have a 10-month-old now and I am nine weeks pregnant. This pregnancy was unplanned but I am never doing that again. I hope God can forgive me and most of all, I hope my child can. Mommy is sorry; it wasn`t your fault. If I could get you back I would. I hope you forgive me. I love you, baby, now fly and be happy and when we meet I will hold you. Please look after my baby, Granddad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. x x x x
