I had an abortion because of my mother and my now ex-boyfriend. After trying and finally getting pregnant, my boyfriend swore I still liked another guy. I didn't. But he left me anyway. Then he started cutting me down verbally. He said horrible things, calling me a monster and telling me our baby would be born deformed, or mentally retarded. He said I would completely screw up my life, my baby's life, his life, and everyone else's lives around me. All of a sudden he thought I was too young, though he wanted this child as much as I did. We tried for this baby, despite our ages. (I was 16, and he was 17.)
My mother didn't want me to have this child. She thought it would be a mistake. Both of them got to me. And finally, I broke. I let others decide my future and sudden death for my baby. I was weak, vulnerable. They made my mind up for me. I regret my lack of respect for myself. I regret not standing up for my unborn child. I knew it was the wrong decision for me, but I convinced myself that they were right and I was wrong. I wanted so badly to stand up and say no. But I couldn't bring myself to do so.
If I would've said anything, anything at all, I'd have a beautiful baby in my arms right now. I'm almost sure I would've had a girl—although I couldn't bear to know. I wish I could go back in time and make the right choices, to stand up for myself and for my baby. No one should have to go through this. Ever. It's one thing if it is what the woman wants for herself, but it's another thing entirely when it is forced upon her, and she feels as if she has no other choice.
