I had an abortion in 1973 because I was set up with an older boy. Our family home burned down and I was living away from my family where I was set up on a blind date and a bottle of wine. It was statutory rape (he was never charged). I was fifteen, it was shameful, my parents and a team of Doctors at Toronto General thought it was best for me. I wanted it too...we all thought if OHIP covers it, it was okay until our consciences kicked in twelve years later. No one ever talked about it.
I was kept overnight in the hospital (It was most likely a D&E abortion) and put under for the abortion. I remember a nurse pulling out reams of packing from my vagina after. I felt relieved after the abortion. However I did cry a lot....especially when my milk came in. All through my teen years I felt ruined (and I was) for anyone...so I took a lot of heartache from my boyfriend whom I married seven years later. Through the years I experienced huge grief, hospitalized depressions, stress, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, feelings of extreme loneliness and evil, obsessing over abortion, etc. With strong mood swings, it was difficult to mother my two children. They are grown now and I don't know how I have lived this long with all the pent up pain.
I am fifty five, still married to the same man and the relationship is not good. I am passionate to stop abortion in Canada. I am currently working to support Motion 312. I know I am forgiven but the pain is still there...these were my formative years... I didn't get to grow up in a healthy manner... I feel even my own family will not validate the horror of what happened to me and my baby....I have no one to grieve with....so I am scarred at the deepest level. I live with deep anguish and deep regret. Abortion is indeed the worst crime against humanity...truly evil!
