I had an abortion because my boyfriend of only two months (now husband) insisted we do so. I was excited about the pregnancy. When I told him, he cried! He had just gotten out of a seven year relationship and was not ready for this. I believe Satan had his hand in all of this from the start because at this time in my life I was isolated from my family and somehow was convinced I had no choice.
At the clinic I asked the doctor if I could see the monitor. I will always remember that moment, he showed me as he pointed to the tiny embryo with a "no big deal" sort of attitude. I saw then and I can see now when I close my eyes. I always think back to that moment. I can't believe I didn't leave! Who was I?
The time that followed that day I've always wondered if I had just told the right person about my pregnancy if they would have stopped me. One year prior to this I had renewed my faith in Christ, (Which is why I believe Satan had his hand in all of this since he wants nothing more than to keep us from growing in Christ) but since our Father in heaven works from the inside out he had been working in me and I have since received His forgiveness as I have laid my guilt and pain at the cross. (Numerous times! as some days are a struggle not to pick it up again!) The Lord has even blessed my marriage and kept my heart from growing bitter toward my husband, (who also regrets his decision but does not want to talk about it.)
